IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is important to consider that in order to keep our body healthy, we need to consume good
food
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 whatever it comes from, either from our
land
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 or from the outside
country
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.
However
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 some people believe that these
food
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products
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 should be a priority come from our own
country
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, I would argue that,
while
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 it is beneficial for our
farmers
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
food
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 that cannot be grown on
this
Linking Words
land
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. One of the most significant benefits of depending on
food
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products
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 from local
farmers
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 is that
such
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 activity raises the living standard of those who work on the farm.
This
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 is important because a
country
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 without equal distribution of welfare, particularly for the peasants, will trigger
low
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the low
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 passion of the young generation to continuing becomes a farmer, even improving the technology which can support
this
Linking Words
 field.
For instance
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, if the citizens are likely to choose local
food
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instead
Linking Words
 the imported one, the
farmers
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 will get more money to improve their life quality and extend their farmlandland, but if we do not prefer
this
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 product,
this
Linking Words
 kind of profession will extinct in the near future.
However
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, it is vital that
this
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food
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 supply must not be limited to local
products
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 only, as many vegetables, fruits and meats are only available in certain countries. The reason for
this
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 is that
products
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 are not suitable to be grown or extended in our own
country
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due to
Linking Words
 the environmental characteristics.
For example
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, high-quality melon is just can only be found in Japan where the
land
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 characteristic is cold and those seeds can only compatible in
such
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 environments,
instead
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 be grown in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tropical
land
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. Another example is the huge tuna fish mostly come from Japan because the sea temperature and humidity are likely to be suitable for those fish to grow. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 spending money on local
products
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 may help local
farmers
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 to improve their standard of living and persuade the young generation to continue
this
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 profession, I believe
such
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 limitation to not importing
products
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 from outside the
country
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 may restrict people from tasting high-quality
products
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 which can only be extended
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 area.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph clearly develops a single idea. This will enhance the logical progression of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your conclusion to succinctly paraphrase the main points of your essay and reinforce your stance clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to check your work for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented a well-structured argument with relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestically produced food
  • agricultural sector
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • food security
  • global market fluctuations
  • trade disputes
  • local food production
  • dietary variety
  • international trade relations
  • retaliation
  • exports
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