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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show election participation by age, gender, and income in Japan between 1990 and 2010.

The charts below show election participation by age, gender, and income in Japan between 1990 and 2010.
The three graphs illustrate the percentage of
election
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participation
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 by age, gender, and
income
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 in Japan from 1990 to 2010. A notable observation is that the proportion of
election
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participation
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 among the
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
 people has been the highest over the
period
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the youngest group in society showed a significant increase from 1990 to 2010, with figures from 40% to almost 70%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, a group between the ages of 41 and 50 remained remarkably stable over the course of
this
Linking Words
 time
period
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. Regarding gender, even though the proportion of men’s
election
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participation
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 has been prevalent during the
period
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, the percentage of
female’s
Change noun form
females
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has skyrocketed dramatically from 20% in 1990 to 50% in 2010. When it comes to
income
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, the lowest
income
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 group (earned $20,000 or less) accounted for almost
three-third
Correct your spelling
three third
show examples
 throughout the
period
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 easy to notice that
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 money people earned,
less
Correct article usage
the less
show examples
 they were likely to participate
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
elction
Correct your spelling
election
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data clearly shows that the age groups over 51,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
between 21 and 30, women, and the lowest
income
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 earners showed a remarkable increase in the percentage of
election
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participation
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 between 1990 and 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words election, participation, income, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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