Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over animal-based testing.
While
some claim that experiments
on animals
are not necessary and make animals
suffer from pain, the opposite makes a statement that these can contribute to the sake of humans. While
each has its own perks, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors.
Without a shadow of a doubt, experiments
on animals
for testing medicines play a vital role in the enhancement of the medical industry
but to an appropriate extent. This
is due to
the fact that animals
bear a close resemblance to humans, either in cell structures or behavior
. There is abundant evidence that they can respond to external disturbances comparatively the same as humans. To be more specific, most people can acknowledge their pain, stress, and nutrition are based on animal testing Change the spelling
behaviour
experiments
. Hence
, testing on animals
can be one of the main approaches to predict any risks that people may suffer from using drugs or other medical goods.
While
the benefit of experiments
on animals
is widely acknowledged, researchers may have the obligation to reduce animal suffering from pain. To be more accurate, they can grow recognition among people that some experiments
on animals
for commercial purposes are not necessary, especially for the cosmetic industry
. For instance
, a famous cosmetic company named Estee Lauder used to test their products on rabbits to know what they should improve. That made numerous customers boycott their brand at that time and they had to apologize and promise not to conduct more animal-based experiments
. Therefore
, some scientists can prevent fewer animals
from being endangered by reducing their experiments
in the cosmetic industry
.
In conclusion, it is clear to note that animal-based testing is crucial for the development of the medical industry
for human well-being, however
, researchers can conduct fewer experiments
on wild conservation of animals
in the cosmetic industry
.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
Your essay offers a complete response to the task and tackles both perspectives on animal experiments. However, to make your argument stronger, you could expand more on your own opinion and provide additional specific examples related to the development of medicines and the safety of other products.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to link your points more coherently to build a stronger argument. For example, before shifting from the importance of testing to the reduction of animal suffering, a clearer connecting sentence would help.
task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, highlight specific medical breakthroughs achieved through animal testing to illustrate its contribution to human health. Similarly, offer more examples related to the cosmetic industry or alternatives to animal testing to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. You clearly summarize both sides of the argument in the introduction and recapitulate your stance in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, which shows your ability to present balanced viewpoints. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to present specific examples, such as the reference to Estee Lauder, which adds credibility to your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example