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Writing Samples
Band 9

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
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It is admitted that technology has made man more social. I firmly agree with
this
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 statement. Technological advancements in many aspects, including semiconductor and telecom networks, provide smart devices at affordable prices with Internet roaming. These factors promote online conversation and social interaction.
In particular
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, social media
platforms
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, forums, and chat rooms provide numerous opportunities for communication and updating information. These virtual threads allow members to present their feelings and exchange their ideas and points of view related thread’s topics.
For example
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, individuals with the same interests, goals, or demands can form their own group, which will create social
interactions
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 and collaborations among participants. Participating in offline events, members could meet new people and form new friendships, increasing a sense of belonging among the group’s members.
Additionally
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,
such
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platforms
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 contribute to strengthening the
relationships
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 among relatives. Instant messaging, video calls, and social media
platforms
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 allow for real-time communication across vast distances. So, people can stay in touch with family and friends, maintain
relationships
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, and reconnect with old acquaintances easily.
However
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, there are some disadvantages of too much reliance on social
platforms
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.
Initially
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, online conversation often lacks the depth and emotional richness of face-to-face
interactions
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, promoting superficial connections rather than meaningful
relationships
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.
Besides
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, overreliance on digital conversation can decrease the frequency and quality of in-person
interactions
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. Nowadays, more users may feel more comfortable interacting online and less inclined to engage in real-world social activities because individuals prefer virtual
interactions
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 over real-life socialization.
Consequently
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, more users may become addicted to social media, leading to negative impacts on their mental health and social skills.
To conclude
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,
although
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 technology has undoubtedly made individuals more social by facilitating easier messaging, forming new
relationships
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, and maintaining connections over long distances, it
also
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 presents challenges. The reliance on digital communication can lead to superficial
interactions
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, reduced face-to-face engagement, and potential social isolation.
Thus
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, it is essential to strike a balance. Responsible and mindful use of technology can enhance our social lives without diminishing the quality of our personal connections.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint, giving a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of topic sentences helps in maintaining a clear flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, which reinforce your main points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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