In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

#future #people #holiday #country #travel

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In the future, taking a domestic trip will be more important than travelling abroad. I strongly agree with those who feel that people should prefer domestic

holidays

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over international

holidays

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Firstly

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, choosing to vacation in our country can help develop

tourist

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sites. Almost all

tourist

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sites currently have entrance fees and

visitors

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are required to pay entrance fees before entering the

tourist

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area. So, the higher the number of

visitors

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to a

tourist

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attraction, the more income that

tourist

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attraction will generate.

As a result

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, revenue from entering the

tourist

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area can be used to develop amenities,

such

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as toilets,

rest rooms

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restrooms

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, parking areas, and other facilities.

Therefore

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, domestic

holidays

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can be an effective way to develop

tourist

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attractions

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in our country.

Secondly

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, visiting

tourist

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attractions

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will help to promote the

tourist

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spots. When visiting

tourist

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sites, The

visitors

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are likely to share their moments on their social media, so the

tourist

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attraction is increasingly known. It is well-known that social media has a strong influence nowadays. So, the higher the number of

visitors

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, the more information about

tourist

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attractions

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on social media and it can be a promotional event for

visitors

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Thus

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, domestic

holidays

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can help to promote local

tourist

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attractions

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which many people may not know about,

such

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as the beauty of Padar Island and Labuan Bajo islands. In conclusion, increasing domestic

holidays

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tourist

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attractions

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allows for the development and promotion of

tourist

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attractions

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. I,

therefore

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, remain firmly convinced that domestic

holidays

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should be encouraged as a means to support the local tourism industry and enhance economic growth

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Nov 10 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples in your essay. This will help clarify your arguments and make them more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of punctuation and capitalization. For instance, 'the visitors' should not be capitalized mid-sentence.

task achievement

Make sure to distinguish between homophones, such as 'entrance fees' (correct usage) and 'entering fees' (incorrect usage).

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, enhancing the coherence of the text.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay, reinforcing the thesis statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

domestic tourism
international travel
cultural exchange
national pride
affordability
convenience
ecotourism
heritage sites
local businesses
comfort zone

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In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Your opinion

Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A faction of people holds the notion that juveniles should be independent from their parents, others argue that they must be supervised and controlled by their parents. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and express my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?