IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

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In the future, taking a domestic trip will be more important than travelling abroad. I strongly agree with those who feel that people should prefer domestic
holidays
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 over international
holidays
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.
Firstly
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, choosing to vacation in our country can help develop
tourist
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 sites. Almost all
tourist
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 sites currently have entrance fees and
visitors
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 are required to pay entrance fees before entering the
tourist
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 area. So, the higher the number of
visitors
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 to a
tourist
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 attraction, the more income that
tourist
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 attraction will generate.
As a result
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, revenue from entering the
tourist
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 area can be used to develop amenities,
such
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 as toilets,
rest rooms
Correct your spelling
restrooms
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, parking areas, and other facilities.
Therefore
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, domestic
holidays
Use synonyms
 can be an effective way to develop
tourist
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attractions
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 in our country.
Secondly
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, visiting
tourist
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attractions
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 will help to promote the
tourist
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 spots. When visiting
tourist
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 sites, The
visitors
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 are likely to share their moments on their social media, so the
tourist
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 attraction is increasingly known. It is well-known that social media has a strong influence nowadays. So, the higher the number of
visitors
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, the more information about
tourist
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attractions
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 on social media and it can be a promotional event for
visitors
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.
Thus
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, domestic
holidays
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 can help to promote local
tourist
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attractions
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 which many people may not know about,
such
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 as the beauty of Padar Island and Labuan Bajo islands. In conclusion, increasing domestic
holidays
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 in
tourist
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attractions
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 allows for the development and promotion of
tourist
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attractions
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. I,
therefore
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, remain firmly convinced that domestic
holidays
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged as a means to support the local tourism industry and enhance economic growth

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples in your essay. This will help clarify your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of punctuation and capitalization. For instance, 'the visitors' should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
task achievement
Make sure to distinguish between homophones, such as 'entrance fees' (correct usage) and 'entering fees' (incorrect usage).
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, enhancing the coherence of the text.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay, reinforcing the thesis statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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