In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

In the future, taking a domestic trip will be more important than travelling abroad. I strongly agree with those who feel that people should prefer domestic
holidays
over international
holidays
.
Firstly
, choosing to vacation in our country can help develop
tourist
sites. Almost all
tourist
sites currently have entrance fees and
visitors
are required to pay entrance fees before entering the
tourist
area. So, the higher the number of
visitors
to a
tourist
attraction, the more income that
tourist
attraction will generate.
As a result
, revenue from entering the
tourist
area can be used to develop amenities,
such
as toilets,
rest rooms
Correct your spelling
restrooms
show examples
, parking areas, and other facilities.
Therefore
, domestic
holidays
can be an effective way to develop
tourist
attractions
in our country.
Secondly
, visiting
tourist
attractions
will help to promote the
tourist
spots. When visiting
tourist
sites, The
visitors
are likely to share their moments on their social media, so the
tourist
attraction is increasingly known. It is well-known that social media has a strong influence nowadays. So, the higher the number of
visitors
, the more information about
tourist
attractions
on social media and it can be a promotional event for
visitors
.
Thus
, domestic
holidays
can help to promote local
tourist
attractions
which many people may not know about,
such
as the beauty of Padar Island and Labuan Bajo islands. In conclusion, increasing domestic
holidays
in
tourist
attractions
allows for the development and promotion of
tourist
attractions
. I,
therefore
, remain firmly convinced that domestic
holidays
should be encouraged as a means to support the local tourism industry and enhance economic growth
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples in your essay. This will help clarify your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of punctuation and capitalization. For instance, 'the visitors' should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
task achievement
Make sure to distinguish between homophones, such as 'entrance fees' (correct usage) and 'entering fees' (incorrect usage).
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, enhancing the coherence of the text.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay, reinforcing the thesis statement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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