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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
#visitors #three #areas #european #country
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the graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of international tourists to three different European areas including the coast, the mountain
as well as
Linking Words
 the lakes from 1987 to 2007.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, in general, it is noticeable that the
number
Use synonyms
 of overseas
visitors
Use synonyms
 in all three areas has increased.
although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
lake
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 went up rapidly until 2002 and
then
Linking Words
 decreased sharply in 2007, but the sum of
lake
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 has been increasing compared to 1987. in detail, at the beginning of the year
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1987
Add a comma
1987,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
lake
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 was the least, it is only around 10.000
people
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 compared to 20.000
people
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 who visited the mountains in 1987 and 40.000
people
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 who visited the coast in the same year. the tourists of to the mountains
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 risen
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slightly and constantly for the past 20 years and
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 more than 30.000
people
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. unlike the mountain tourist, the visitor or the cost has decrease from 1987 to 1992, begin with 40.000
people
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 and drop to 35.000
people
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. but after that it remained increased until 2007, reaching 75.000
people
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of
people
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 who visited the European
Lake
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 went up rapidly from 10.000 tourists in 1987 and reached 75.000
people
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 in 2002, but
then
Linking Words
 it dropped to 50.000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
visitors
Use synonyms
 of to the coasts was the highest in 2007 and the
number
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 of mountain
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the lowest in the same year
Submitted by wiworose on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, lake, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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