Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
It is argued that digital networking
platforms
could have positive effects on the young generation, whereas
other opinions are towards the negative sides of social media sites. In this
essay, I will delve into the upsides and downsides of this
issue.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that we are surrounded by technology in our daily lives, which provides a great amount of opportunities for young people
. First of all, we can keep up with the global world with the help of digital platforms
. For example
, when the earthquake hit Turkiye in 2023, young people
saw the disaster and took various actions to help people
. Besides
, young people
need job vacancies and they had better socialize and broaden their horizons by networking. Linkedin
, Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
for instance
, is a great way of contacting other people
all around the world.
On the other side, social media platforms
could have many disadvantages. Nowadays, young people
are distracted by many things, and digital platforms
, I strongly believe, are the most prominent ones. Teenagers are spending quite an amount of time on their phones or tablets, which causes them not to focus on their studies. Moreover
, many psychologists suggest that social media platforms
create beauty standards that most people
desire to have. For instance
, eyelash lifting or dark eyebrows are quite popular among young people
. Thus
, they lose their self-confidence, which damages their relationships.
In conclusion, it is inevitable to refrain from digital platforms
even if they have pros and cons. The important this
is to know how to balance it and use it in effective ways.Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and expanding on them to strengthen the arguments. For instance, instead of a general statement about teenagers being distracted, provide specific data or studies that support this claim.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but you could enhance them by succinctly summarizing your key points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although the logical structure is good, using more transition words or phrases could improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-balanced argument by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of social networking sites.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and the intention of the essay, which effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples such as the earthquake in Turkey and LinkedIn are used to support the main points, adding credibility to the arguments.