IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should provide everyone with free healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #healthcare
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Citizens
Use synonyms
 of all countries deserve to be carefree when it comes to their health. There is an ongoing debate on whether it is incumbent on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 itself to provide
healthcare
Use synonyms
 gratis for residents of their nation. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view that government should provide free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 for everyone. First of all, one of the biggest benefits of universal
healthcare
Use synonyms
 coverage is that it ensures access to necessary medical services for all
citizens
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 includes preventative care,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
treatment
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 for illnesses and injuries.
Citizens
Use synonyms
 could be able to receive timely treatments and maintain better health outcomes,
as a result
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 would lead to
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 quality of life for
citizens
Use synonyms
, which is crucial for a strong republic.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is a reduced monetary load. The price of treating illnesses, in general, is not low. Some people may not be able to gain access to medical
treatment
Use synonyms
 only
due to
Linking Words
 high costs. It is a basic human right to receive essential medical attention.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my country,
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
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 of medicines in a pharmacy shop are very high. Sometimes, I myself was not capable of purchasing one I really needed. Universal
healthcare
Use synonyms
 coverage eliminates the financial burden associated with seeking medical
treatment
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 for inhabitants.
Citizens
Use synonyms
 do not have to worry about the cost of
healthcare
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, which can be a significant stressor, especially in times of illness or injury.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that it is obligatory for government to support medical
treatment
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 for all of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens
Use synonyms
. If
this
Linking Words
 is the case, improved health outcomes and reduced financial burden would occur for everyone.
Submitted by marichkhobadze133 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and addresses the prompt effectively. To further improve, consider providing even more concrete examples or data to support your arguments. This will help make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas flow logically from one to the next. However, for an even higher score, try to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and the argument is logical and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the task thoroughly and the ideas presented are clear and comprehensive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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