Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
There's a widely held belief that significant
wealth
is necessary to fully enjoy brief periods of leisure
. Advocates argue that ample financial resources afford individuals
the chance to indulge in extravagant pursuits, thereby enhancing the quality of their recreational time
. However
, while
financial affluence certainly facilitates luxurious experiences
, it does not guarantee fulfillment
during moments of respite. In reality, empirical evidence suggests that genuine Change the spelling
fulfilment
contentment
often arises from simple pleasures accessible to all, regardless of financial status.
Supporters of wealth
accumulation contend that possessing substantial capital enables individuals
to orchestrate unforgettable experiences
. From lavish vacations to opulent escapades, the wealthy seem to effortlessly elevate even the shortest breaks into displays of grandeur. For example
, my uncle, who devotes most of his time
to accumulating wealth
, treasures his limited vacation days by meticulously planning excursions. Despite his demanding work schedule, he derives immense satisfaction from experiences
made possible by his financial resources.
Conversely
, detractors argue that monetary wealth
is not a prerequisite for enjoying leisure
time
. Contrary to common assumptions, empirical studies consistently show that happiness
is not dependent on financial prosperity. In a landmark 2023 Harvard Social study, researchers discovered that individuals
with modest financial means reported higher levels of happiness
than their affluent counterparts. A striking 50% of respondents attributed their contentment
to the abundance of leisure
time
afforded by their simple yet fulfilling lifestyles.
In essence, while
financial abundance may facilitate extravagant leisure
pursuits, it does not guarantee true contentment
. The pursuit of happiness
extends beyond monetary considerations, with fulfillment
often derived from intangible Change the spelling
fulfilment
experiences
and meaningful connections. Therefore
, rather than fixating on accumulating wealth
, individuals
are encouraged to prioritize the cultivation of enriching experiences
and nurturing relationships, as these are the
genuine sources of joy and Correct article usage
apply
fulfillment
.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
fulfilment
while
possessing significant wealth
may enable indulgent leisure
pursuits, it is not a prerequisite for happiness
. True contentment
arises from simple pleasures accessible to all, regardless of financial status. By prioritizing meaningful experiences
and fostering genuine connections, individuals
can unlock the key to lasting fulfillment
and lead lives imbued with genuine Change the spelling
fulfilment
happiness
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your introduction is clear and provides a compelling overview of both sides of the argument, consider making your stance more explicit early on. State your opinion clearly in the introduction so readers understand your perspective from the outset.
task achievement
You can also focus on supporting your ideas with multiple examples rather than relying heavily on a single anecdote. This can make your argument appear well-rounded and more robust.
coherence cohesion
The overall flow of your essay is logical and cohesive, but linking sentences in some of the paragraphs could be smoother. For example, use more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your logic.
task achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses both sides of the argument, making it a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
The example you provide about your uncle effectively illustrates your point and adds a personal touch to the essay, which is engaging.
coherence cohesion
The logical organization of your essay is strong, and it effectively builds your argument. Your use of empirical evidence adds credibility to your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
You conclude powerfully by reiterating your main argument and providing a sense of closure to the essay, which is excellent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.