In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Recently,
due to
the popularity of
junk
food
, there are risks to traditional cuisines being replaced by fast
food
. I totally agree that it has various disadvantages for society and families.
Firstly
, Traditional foods are a reflection of a society’s history, these dishes are part of human culture and contribute to shaping their identity. There are many stories behind them. Replacing them with fast
food
results in a generation that does not know its culture or how to prepare its traditional
food
, which contributes in part to the extinction of its culture.
for
Capitalize word
For
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instance, In Japan, some of its traditional cuisines have already been replaced by
junk
food
like burgers and fries.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
a result, the younger generation may grow up with limited knowledge about their cooking methods. The second reason why I believe
this
shift has a negative impact is that consuming more fast
food
affects family finances, especially for large families.
Moreover
,
junk
food
negatively impacts family dynamics, as family members no longer sit together at the same table during mealtime, which weakens communication and reduces cohesion among them. A study found that families frequently relying on fast
food
for meals tend to have unhealthy eating habits and limited access to healthy foods at home, which can negatively affect family interactions and
overall
well-being . In conclusion, replacing traditional dishes with
junk
food
negatively influences many aspects, whether in cultural value and existence, the healthy lifestyle of people, or society itself.
Submitted by rahafusn on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical flow between sentences. Consider using signposting language to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Strive for more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your claims. While you mention Japan, additional examples from other cultures could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear stance on the issue, presenting a solid argument against the prevalence of fast food over traditional cuisines.
coherence cohesion
The main points are appropriately supported by reasons and examples, illustrating the negative impact of fast food on culture and family dynamics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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