Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It can be seen that some
museums
collect
fees
from visitors when they visit these places
while
other
museums
do not
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In my opinion,
while
charging
people
for admission may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue they are eclipsed by the benefits On the one hand, many
people
believe that charging
people
for entry may lead to some drawbacks for
museums
such
as it remarkably reduces the number of customers of
museums
. Because
people
with low income may not be willing to spend their money on museum visits.
Besides
, Many
people
, especially young citizens, think visiting
museums
is not only boring but
also
extortingly expensive.
Therefore
, charging for admission is unwise
On the other hand
, many
people
opine that it is necessary for
museums
to collect visitor’s
fees
because they need money to run and maintain their facilities.
For example
, they need financial support from visitors to cover the costs of maintaining and preserving works and exhibits that
otherwise
deteriorate with time.
Furthermore
,
such
fees
are not only used for the aforementioned purposes (
maintain
Replace the word
maintenance
show examples
, facilities and human resources) but
also
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to support, sponsor and promote presentations (invite famous experts in that field to talk
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
), or new educational programs,
competitions
Correct word choice
and competitions
show examples
that encourage children to love art, history and nature. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, the young are able to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
interest
Change preposition
in those
show examples
those topic
Change the determiner
that topic
those topics
show examples
. In conclusion, in my opinion, the cost of maintenance and operation with
supportion
Correct your spelling
supporting
support
supportive
, sponsor and promotion
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the reasons
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
me believe the benefits of charging
people
for admission outweigh its drawbacks. Thereby,
museums
should get customers’
fees
when they visit.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
Clarify some statements for better comprehension and attempt to use a varied sentence structure to avoid repetition. This will help in making your ideas clearer and more engaging for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more linking words and phrases. This will create smoother transitions between ideas and make the essay more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
Good introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in framing the essay well.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported with examples and logical reasoning.
complete response
You have provided a complete response to the question, addressing both advantages and disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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