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Band 5.5

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#nations #countries #relief #disasters
Affluent
countries
 need to contribute towards
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
 of poor
nations
 which struggle with natural calamities. I overwhelmingly agree with
this
 idea
however
 rich
nations
 should have freedom to decide upon the extent of support they are willing to do.
To begin
 with, developed
nations
 are those who can sustain their demand with the production and supply of goods and services. They are assured of what they have and could easily support the other parts of the world with the funding or necessities they need to have supplied. So, it is a great way to provide humanitarian aid during
crisis
Correct article usage
a crisis
show examples
. The poor
countries
 cannot sustain themselves because they are either burdened by debt or they have
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
 resources. When they face any crisis they cannot support their populace leading them into crisis. To exemplify,
African
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the African
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 continent is supported by many organizations funded by wealthy
nations
 to raise
overall
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the overall
show examples
 standard of their lives.
In contrast
, even wealthy
nations
 have limitations so poorer
nations
 cannot completely rely upon their assistance.
Nonetheless
, the
countries
 are rich but they
also
 have to fight a war
that is
 going
inside
Change preposition
on inside
show examples
 their land
such
 as poverty,
civil
Correct word choice
and civil
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 unrest. Sometimes, they have to help their residents first before helping any outsider.
For example
, these days,
due to
 inflation, a staggering increase in homelessness is noticed in many developed parts of the world. These
countries
 have to look after their residents before helping others. In conclusion, whether any country has to fund others or not should be based on its discretion.
However
, they could easily help with
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 because of the abundant resources in their
countries
. Ergo, the decision
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 humanitarian relief should be based on how the country is working internally.
Submitted by Kiran on

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task achievement
Great job on presenting a clear and comprehensive response to the task! However, try to delve a little deeper into your arguments to provide a more nuanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen coherence and cohesion, consider using a few more transition words to guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, contributing to a strong overall structure.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples that bolster your arguments, particularly the mention of African countries and the support they receive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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