Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is an irrefutable fact that artists are the most prominent individuals throughout the world. Some communities believe that it is the sole responsibility of the government to support them economically in an appropriate way,
while
the opposite school of thought propound that it can be given by other sources. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will talk through both perspectives with credible illustrations Linking Words
along with
my certitude in the latter stance.
To start with, there are a plethora of art forms which are renowned in each and every corner of the world. The list is becoming famous through their ultimate hard work and efforts. Linking Words
However
, during the primary stages of their career, they experience a colossal financial crisis. The local authorities should identify nations that are remarkably talented in the fields of music, dance, painting and handicrafts and provide the necessary funds. To exemplify, they can organize cultural events intermittently to get acquainted with the skills of various troupes and, if possible, give away checks in the form of remuneration
On the flip side, there are affluent individuals who are a part of the cinema industry. The music directors, composers, and dance choreographers must either employ local artists to perform for their compositions, or they can be provided with monetary aid. Linking Words
This
motivates the public to persuade numerous art forms. Linking Words
Similarly
, conglomerate organizations can collaborate with painters and craftsmen by sponsoring to sell their products at much higher costs. Linking Words
For instance
, Amazon, which is predominantly known for its online shopping application, can make optimal deals with these crowds. Since it is produced by underprivileged populations, customers would shower sympathy and purchase many products or paintings.
Taking everything into consideration, Linking Words
although
the government volunteers to provide financial assistance to artists, the industrialists and film fraternity can help them not only financially but Linking Words
also
by bestowing astonishing career opportunities.Linking Words
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on
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task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to support your points well. To enhance this, try to be more specific and detailed in your illustrations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction that sets the stage for your discussion and a conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoint clearly. This is an important aspect of effective essay writing.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views regarding the financial support for artists, and you have provided your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements well.
overall impression
Your use of language is generally clear, and you have employed a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriately.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.