In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is evident that in some countries physical stores are being replaced by online shops. I believe

this

replacement is absolutely positive because of its convenience and its contribution to the national and global economy. E-commerce, which is obviously convenient, has outweighed traditional retail. With only a click of a button,

customers

can buy whatever they need.

For instance

, in the past, if people wanted to buy luxury

brand name

Add a hyphen

brand-name

show examples

items, they had to go to physical stores,

thus

, it took them a lot of time.

Besides

, shopping online is fast and safe thanks to its large scale of delivery. Regarding sellers, there are various platforms that they can benefit from

such

as Alibaba, Amazon, and Shopee, which makes it easier than ever for them to approach different

customers

no matter the geographical distances.

Additionally

, the growing number of online shops

also

contributes to the national and global economy. Since a tremendous number of orders are being placed, there is a significant increase in demand for packaging and shipping processes.

Therefore

this

can provide more job opportunities,

thus

decreasing the unemployment rate.

Furthermore

, shopping in the virtual space can enable businesses to cut enormous costs from maintenance, salaries for staff

as well as

other fees.

This

allows them to lower the prices and make their products more affordable and accessible for

customers

Last

but not least, the more revenue

that is

generated from e-commerce, the more taxes the sellers and

customers

have to pay, which substantially boosts the national budget so that the governments can use it for enhancing public infrastructures. In conclusion,

it is clear that

online shopping is a positive innovation in current life thanks to its convenience and how it benefits the economy of the whole world.

Submitted by anhpham.712688 on Wed May 22 2024

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task achievement

Increase the variety of examples. Provide more specific illustrations or case studies beyond general mentions of platforms like Amazon or Shopee to make arguments more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between points. While the essay has good logical structure and flow, using more linking phrases can enhance cohesion and clarity.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and offers a balanced discussion by highlighting both convenience and economic benefits of online shopping.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a solid framework for the essay.

coherence cohesion

Main points are well-supported, and the essay exemplifies strong logical flow between points.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unparalleled convenience
remote areas
wide range of products
broad selection
price comparison
customer satisfaction
value for money
impact on local businesses
economic diversity
job losses
environmental implications
packaging waste
carbon emissions
carbon footprint
data privacy
cybersecurity
personal data
tactile shopping experience
immediate gratification
physically examined
robust measures
consumer information

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