Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others think there are better ways to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that crime exists in every society and causes fear
due to
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the actions of individuals who commit both serious and minor
offenses
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offences
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.
While
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some people argue that
prison
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sentences should have a fixed duration, I strongly believe that longer
prison
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terms are an effective way to reduce crime.
To begin
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with, extended imprisonment can lead to personal reflection and rehabilitation.
In other words
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, when criminals spend a significant amount of time behind bars, they are more likely to reflect on their past actions and regret the decisions that led to their incarceration.
Furthermore
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, longer sentences reduce the number of offenders active in society, thereby improving public safety.
For instance
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, sentencing a thief to several years in
prison
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not only prevents
further
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theft during that period but
also
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gives them time to change their
behavior
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behaviour
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and mindset. Another important point is the emotional impact of being away from loved ones. Missing family and community life often motivates inmates to reconsider their choices and rebuild their relationships.
This
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emotional separation can encourage them to value freedom and social bonds more deeply.
Moreover
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, individuals who have experienced the harsh conditions of
prison
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are less likely to
reoffend
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re-offend
, as they understand the consequences more clearly.
For example
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, exposure to dangerous environments and strict rules may discourage them from engaging in criminal activities after release. In conclusion,
although
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opinions may differ, I believe that longer
prison
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sentences play a vital role in crime prevention. They not only serve as a strong deterrent but
also
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allow time for rehabilitation and personal change. A firm stance on punishment sends a message that the legal system does not tolerate lawbreaking, which can ultimately contribute to a safer society.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and provides a strong stance on the issue. However, it might be helpful to include a brief overview of alternative solutions to crime reduction, which would enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of ideas is mostly logical and easy to follow. Consider using more varied linking words for transitions to improve readability further, as it will help to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You have provided strong arguments supporting your viewpoint on longer prison sentences, and your examples are relevant and contribute well to your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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