more people decided to have childreb in their later age than in the past, why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages ?
These days, both men and women are prioritizing the early stages of their careers and financial stability.
Similarly
, many married couples are choosing to establish their financial security and career paths before embarking on the journey of parenthood. This
decision, while
influenced by the current cost of living and personal aspirations, also
reflects a deep sense of responsibility towards their future children.In the past, despite financial challenges, families often welcomed children early in their marriages. However
, societal and economic changes in the modern age have significantly altered this
trend. This
essay aims to explore the advantages and disadvantages of these shifts, providing a comprehensive overview of the topic.
In our fathers and forefather's stage, the marriage system had a special attraction. Everyone should get married as well
as
have kids as early as possible Correct word choice
and
due to
society's conditions. Not only with societal conditions, they support various circumstances. For example
, if they had kids at an early stage, then
they support their parents during their older age. Moreover
, in those periods, people were not keen on making money or personal goals, such
as fashion lifestyles,,
luxury buildings, cars, etc.
Change the punctuation
apply
In contrast
to our parents' thoughts, these days, most married people are very focused on their goals and finances. For instance
, maybe a wife wants to settle in a good job and should earn as equal to her husband or a male person wishes to start a business and settle. Due to
these personal ambitions, couples prioritise children in the later stages of life. Sometimes, this
type of thought process may create risks. Like, male or female organs can not be supported as they get older. However
, nowadays, the medical industry has various solutions to having kids at almost any stage of life.
To summarise, in this
modern era, people are focused on career and financial development. This
development sometimes produces positive results and other times has a negative impact.Submitted by sivareddymarella6 on
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task response
The essay needs more specific examples to support the main points. For example, mentioning a specific personal goal or financial challenge faced by couples who delay having children could make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there is a logical progression between them. The essay could benefit from more transitional phrases to guide the reader from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be made stronger by summarizing the main points more explicitly and presenting a clear stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
The essay presents a clear contrast between past and present attitudes towards starting a family, showing an understanding of societal changes.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good control of language and vocabulary, making it easy to read and understand.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...