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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Technology has a positive effect on education. Do you agree or disagree?

#technology #effect #education
It is
also
 said that Artistic
classes
, including painting and
drawing
Add the comma(s)
drawing,
show examples
 are vital for a child's development and should be valued as much as other subjects in high school.
This
 writer certainly agrees with
this
 statement and will write an essay to explain his opinion. It can not be undeniable that
art
classes
 are a useful technique that helps children improve their creativity and
also
 play an important role in expressing themselves. It is
conclusion
Replace the word
concluded
show examples
 that
art
 subject fosters creativity and lets pupils use energy to solve problems in complex ways
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 a platform for self-expression. Through painting and drawing, pupils are encouraged to identify and convey their thoughts,
ideals
Correct your spelling
ideas
show examples
, and
felling
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
 to each other. Which is a crucial part of communication and cooperation with other people
Moreover
,
art
classes
 seemed to be an effective technique to improve
pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
show examples
 Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving,
art
 requires students to make decisions, solve problems and think critically about their problems.
Moreover
,
art
 subject dares their pupil to experiment and train to analyze their work journey and achieve more experiences. which is virtual to pupil feeling. strengthens their analytical skills and enhances their ability to think creatively in various contexts. In conclusion,
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
classes
such
 as drawing and painting ought to be added to high school curricula to help pupil improve their creativity, develop children’s expression and
finally
 help people think logically.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you include clearer and more comprehensive ideas with specific examples to support your points. It seems you have ideas, but they could be expanded upon and clarified further.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your essay. Your introduction is good, but some paragraphs have confusing transitions and some sentences are incomplete. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. You could use more linking words to help with this.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position, and there's a conclusion that effectively wraps up your arguments.
supported main points
Your essay presents relevant main points such as the role of art in fostering creativity and improving critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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