Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some are of the opinion that perseverance and dedication towards their
job
leads to success while
others contradicts
Change the verb form
contradict
this
idea and argue good looks and money
are more vital to succeed. I believe that success has no shortcuts and cannot be compensated with ones
Change noun form
one's
appearnce
or the Correct your spelling
appearance
money
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
possess
. Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
This
essay will discuss my reasonings in the following passages.
In today's competitive world, everyone are
trying their best to shine in their respective careers by putting heart and soul into their Change the verb form
is
job
. They work
more hours than ever before and constantly overcompensate inorder
to get recognition from their organization. Correct your spelling
in order
In addition
, hardwork
done by someone will never go unnoticed or be underestimated. The more they Correct your spelling
hard work
work
, the easier it gets to reach their goal in much lesser
time. Correct word choice
less
Also
, working towards their goal teaches them to not fear mistakes. Failures are bound to happen at any given job
but nagivating
through it and determination "to not give up" mentality reaps more benefits. To exemplify, Tesla owner, Elon Musk who is the world's richest man once told Correct your spelling
navigating
Time's
Change noun form
Times's
Maganzine
that Correct your spelling
Magazine
because
he used to Correct word choice
apply
work
for 12 hours straight with no distraction
is the sole reason he was able to succeed in presenting Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
Correct article usage
the worlds
worlds
first electric car. He Change noun form
world's
also
mentioned that he failed more than 99 times before coming up with the actual tesla
design. The design that Capitalize word
Tesla
exist
now is the 100th attempt. Failures Change the verb form
exists
thought
him what not to do and what to do.
Verb problem
taught
However
, on the contrary
, some argue good looks and money
are important. It might be good enough to kick start
their career but in the long Add a hyphen
kick-start
run
it is not sufficient. Add a comma
run,
For instance
, inorder
to become a model, women and men need to have good looks. SinceCorrect your spelling
in order
,
they become Remove the comma
apply
face
of the brand their looks take precedence before hard Add an article
the face
work
. However
, the same looks will not favour them in their old age. Another example, if
anyone desires to pursue Add a missing verb
is if
their
career in politics, they need to be loaded with Change the word
a
money
because inorder
to run campaigns they need undisrupted cash flow. Correct your spelling
in order
However
, having this
sort of money
can help them initially
but inorder
for them to sustain their position they need to sweat.
To put it in a nutshell, if some Correct your spelling
in order
is
willing to Change the verb form
are
do
perform their Unnecessary verb
apply
job
efficiently despite all the odds are more prosperous in their life compared to people who just have presentable looks and wealth.Submitted by u.umayal92 on
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Writing
Improve sentence structure and avoid repetition to enhance clarity. For example, replace 'nagivating through it and determination 'to not give up' mentality reaps more benefits' with 'navigating challenges with determination yields significant rewards.'
Grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and proper usage of articles. For instance, 'everyone are' should be 'everyone is' and 'efficiency despite all the odds' should be 'efficiently despite all odds.'
Spelling and Punctuation
Pay attention to spelling and punctuation to maintain professionalism. Correct errors like 'perseverance,' 'contradict,' 'in order,' and 'magazine.'
Writing
Provide a clear and concise conclusion that reiterates the main points discussed. Summarize the contrasting views briefly before restating your own position.
Introduction
The introduction clearly presents both perspectives on the topic and states the writer's position, making the reader aware of the essay's direction.
Examples
The essay includes relevant examples, such as Elon Musk's story, which effectively illustrate the points being discussed.
Structure
The body paragraphs are well-organized, each addressing a separate viewpoint, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.