Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days, it has been observed that the number of individuals who replace their medications has significantly increased. There are both pros and cons to

this

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trend. Personally, I think it is a negative development. In

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essay, I will discuss both advantages and drawbacks

Remove the comma

apply

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and provide reasons to support my view on

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contentious issue. Today, the number of patients who change their treatment procedures is increasing at an unprecedented rate.

For example

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, some people prefer to do yoga

instead

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of consuming medicines for their mental health, which can be healthier. Another example can be herbal medicine, which is getting popular these days. The reason why some individuals are drawn to these medicines is that there are no chemicals in them;

thus

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, they do not have side effects.

Therefore

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, some people turn to

such

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drugs because they suppose it is better than the previous way of treatment.

However

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although

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there are various drugs available, most of them suffer from a lack of scientific confirmation. In fact, there is no scientific evidence to prove them.

Accordingly

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, they are not reliable and we should not rely on them. In some cases, not only are they not useful, but

also

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they may be detrimental to our health.

Consequently

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, the best way to cure is that we should trust doctors because they are professional and more reliable than anything.

To conclude

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, nowadays, some people like to try other medicines

instead

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of drugs that are prescribed by their doctors. In my opinion,

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is a negative trend and affects people’s health negatively.

fatemeh1994bahramiSun Jun 16 2024

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task achievement

Overall, the essay presents a clear stance and addresses both the pros and cons of alternative treatments, however, the points could be elaborated further with more specific examples and in-depth reasoning.

task achievement

Try to provide more scientific or statistical evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the transition between ideas is smoother. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay can be improved by clearly separating different points in individual paragraphs. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Conclude by summarizing your key points briefly and reiterating your stance to leave a lasting impression.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in understanding your main argument.

coherence cohesion

Addressing both sides of the argument shows that you have considered different perspectives, which is good for a balanced discussion.

relevant specific examples

You have mentioned specific examples, such as yoga and herbal medicine, to illustrate your points, which adds credibility to your argument.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

More and more plastic wastes are polluting in world cities, countryside and oceans. What are the problems caused by plastic waste? What measures should be taken to solve it?

Creative artists should be given freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music or films. Some people nevertheless think that the government should restrict artist’ freedom of expression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?