Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that it is better to keep and manage scientists'
research
by the
government
instead
of by private
companies
. From my perspective, I completely agree with
this
statement, and the following example will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons is that keeping studies by a
government
unit brings an abundance of knowledge since a population in the home country will have a chance to get exposure to a variety of databases, which is beneficial to them when they want to develop their country.
For instance
,
according to
the latest
research
conducted by students from Bangkok University, it revealed that it becomes easier for 80% of
people
in Thailand to
entrance
Replace the word
enter
show examples
information when the
government
handles all
research
.
This
demonstrates that securing data by the
government
plays a major role in addressing
this
issue which eventually benefits the citizen. Another significant reason to support
this
is that private
companies
will gain over-profit from
people
by using scientific
research
.
This
is because it is an undeniable fact that
companies
always try to be a monopoly when they produce new products. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that the medicine company is willing to make a license every year in order to sell expensive
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
which affects the cost of living.
As a result
, many
people
cannot buy good quality goods. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true to say that scientific
research
should be carried out and controlled by the
government
rather than private
companies
because keeping studies by a
government
unit brings an abundance of knowledge, and private
companies
will gain over-profit from
people
by using scientific
research
.
Submitted by chuangyaem on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each idea logically flows into the next. Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, your argument could be strengthened by addressing potential counterarguments. Discussing opposing views and then refuting them can show the depth of your analysis.
task achievement
While your essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, you could enhance its quality by providing more specific and detailed examples. Illustrate your points with a wider range of evidence to bolster your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively outlines your stance and previews the main points you will discuss, which sets a solid foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
In terms of cohesion, your use of transitional phrases like 'for instance' and 'to illustrate this' help connect your ideas, making your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely ties together your main arguments, reinforcing your stance clearly and succinctly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • carried out
  • controlled
  • governments
  • private companies
  • unbiased
  • prioritize
  • profit
  • public interest
  • allocate resources
  • lucrative
  • collaboration
  • information sharing
  • confidential
  • competitive advantage
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