Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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the
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argument that criminals commit more
crimes
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when they are freed from
prison
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. In my opinion, lack of rehabilitation and employment caused
this
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,
however
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, the
government
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is able to conduct alternative solutions for
this
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and I will examine and explain why I do not agree with the present solutions.
Firstly
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, the lack of rehabilitation programs in
prison
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leads to no improvement in behaviour.
For instance
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, Evin
prison
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which is located in Iran, does have not enough programs to improve prisoners' behaviour and
also
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they put offenders together.
Secondly
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, inadequate support for ex-prisoners
such
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as employment, housing and financial aid forced them to commit
crimes
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.
For example
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, the New York Times news expressed that if there were not enough occupations for ex-prisoners, they would commit more
crimes
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. The
government
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should adopt an approach
such
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as increasing programs in
prison
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which lead to learning personal skills and specific job skills.
In addition
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, they must divide the prisoners into several groups based on their
crimes
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.
For instance
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, in Sweden, prisoners are able to work in the garden to diminish the time of the
prison
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.
Also
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, the
government
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could create special labour to support their finance to prevent them from committing
crimes
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. To add to
this
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, I have to say that occupations like driving buses or working as a cleaner do not need any qualifications so that they are able to hire them. In conclusion, the importance of thinking about ex-prisoners to what they might do after
prison
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,
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apply
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forced the
government
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to bring some solutions.
Therefore
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, improving rehabilitation and employment could lead to preventing criminals from committing
crimes
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.

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improvement
Pay close attention to grammatical correctness and sentence structure. Structural mistakes can affect readability, even when your ideas are strong.
improvement
Provide a more direct and concise thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state the main points the essay will cover.
improvement
Ensure the conclusion effectively restates the main arguments. Consider summarizing key points more cohesively.
strength
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility and relevance to your arguments.
strength
Your essay offers clear and comprehensive ideas, which makes your perspectives easily understandable.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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