IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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There is no doubt that environmental issues are becoming more pressing and that we need to take action to address them. Most people think that the loss of specific species of plants and animals is a main environmental problem.
On the other hand
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, others believe that there are several more important problems. It has some bullet points which I will discuss in the forthcoming paragraph. On the one hand, it supports the view that the loss of flora and fauna is
due to
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 human activity to explore businesses and companies.
Therefore
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, they have to do deforestation of
this
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 many plants are lost. The plant is a good source of oxygen, if continued deforestation occurs it will lead to serious consequences. Apart from that, animals play a vital role in human life, if they are
also
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 extinct it is an environmental problem because it finishes the one Kingdom of species.
For instance
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, building a factory of plastic bottles of tree cuts, and the garbage from industries returned by pets, and lost both species.
On the other hand
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, pollution is a major environmental problem that leads to many health-related problems, especially for children and old age groups.
Additionally
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, climate change occurs because of the greenhouse effect and
as a result
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, the melting of glaciers and variation of seasons occur many other factors like global warming, water scarcity, and ozone depletion leading to ecological problems.
To conclude
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, some claim that the extinction of specific plants and animals is the primary environmental issue facing over time, and some claim that there are more pressing ecological concepts. In my opinion, other environmental issues like climate variation lead to loss of food, season variation, and scarcity of things which is serious for human beings.

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introduction
Make your introduction more concise and directly address the essay question. The phrase 'It has some bullet points which I will discuss in the forthcoming paragraph' is unnecessary.
support
Ensure each idea is fully developed with sufficient details and examples. For instance, the paragraph about flora and fauna could use more specific examples and deeper explanations.
cohesion
Enhance transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argument clearer and more cohesive.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to avoid awkward phrases such as 'the melting of glaciers and variation of seasons occur many other factors.'
balance
You have presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points and states your personal opinion clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem services
  • genetic diversity
  • food chains
  • climate change
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • overpopulation
  • deforestation
  • water scarcity
  • holistic approach
  • environmental sustainability
  • irreversible loss
  • threatened species
  • conservation efforts
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