IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that teenagers who commit crime should be treated the same way as adults criminals.To what extend do u agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #crime #adults #criminals
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There is no doubt that these days criminal activity has become more common than ever by any chance from
adult
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adults
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 or young people.there is
different
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a different
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type
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types
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 of
punsihmeant
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punishment
 and it
deepinds
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depends
 on the
craim
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claim
it self
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itself
show examples
. In terms of criminals ,teenagers could do it from non since and
aware
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are aware
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 of
Rephrase
how there
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there
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their
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 brain
works
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work
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beacuse
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because
 there still young.
sometimme
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sometime
sometimes
 they dont have the right way to think or to be aware of the huge mistake they did but that doesn't remove the guilt on theme and
have
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having
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 the privilege
to get
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of getting
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 away with
th
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the
crim
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crime
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 just
beacuse
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because
 they are young in age.
However
,that
dosint
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doesn't
 mean the punishment
coule
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could
 be the same as
grown up
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grown-up
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 people who committed crimes against humanity and have a huge
effective
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effect
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 on society. Because there
a
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is a
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huge
deference
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difference
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 of age and the awareness of the danger they can do. The
punchmeant
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punishment
 should completely be different from each other ,it depends on the situation and the crime In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 there should be
difference
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a difference
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 between the punshmeant for adult people and teenage children
beacsue
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because
 the adult can
committee
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commit
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 crime when
the
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they
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 have a full awareness of
there
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their
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action
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actions
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,the opposite of
teenjers
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teenagers
who
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 think of when
the
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they
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 commit
crim
Correct your spelling
crime
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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this
 young age without absorption of there action and could come from a reckless thinking.
Submitted by anhar55255 on

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general improvement
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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, helping to frame your essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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