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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People say that nowadays, modern teens are too reliant on Information Technologies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Teenagers
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 in
this
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 modern era are widely believed to be too reliant on
Information
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Technologies
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. In my opinion, I do not agree with that statement for the following reasons. It is apparent that students nowadays depend quite a lot on
Information
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Technologies
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 in many aspects of their lives.
For example
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,
teenagers
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 have changed the way they communicate with each other. In the past,
people
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 used to talk to one another in person or
use
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apply
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let ters as tools of distant connection. Now, young
people
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 mostly contact each other through message networks and rarely arrange face-to-face meetings. It is possible that without the help of
information
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technologies
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,
teenagers
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 will have many challenges in maintaining their work efficiency. Generally,
teenagers
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 are called dependent when they can not do something without
Information
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Technologies
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. Meanwhile, modern
people
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 seem to be making a lot of great use of
Information
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Technologies
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.
Teenagers
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 now have a deep understanding of the way technology around them operates, so they apply those advances successfully and creatively to their jobs.
For instance
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, many young adults work for foreign companies at an early age as they use many social media platforms to accumulate
required
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the required
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 knowledge and find
out
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apply
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many employers across the global market. It is
Information
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Technologies
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 which enable a fluent flow of
information
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, resulting in more fluent interaction between
people
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.
Teenagers
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 do know
this
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 and are making the most out of it.
Therefore
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, they are not totally reliant on
Information
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Technologies
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. In conclusion, despite the undeniable support of
Information
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Technologies
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 in many modern activities, young
people
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 are making an effort to apply its efficiency to their productivity
instead
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 of just accepting that they are dependent on it in everything.

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Task Achievement
To improve your essay, it's crucial to incorporate more varied examples that illustrate your points more vividly. Avoid general statements and strive for specifics to make your arguments more persuasive and grounded.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the link between your paragraphs by using more cohesive devices. While your essay flows logically, making your transitions smoother will help your arguments to be more seamlessly connected.
General Advice
Expanding on your examples with more detail and explanation can also strengthen your essay. It's not enough to simply state an example; explaining its relevance and impact makes your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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