Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the way through which youngsters learn the practices of an efficient society member is quite debatable.
while
Linking Words
some believe that
children
Use synonyms
's initial home is the environment
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
can cultivate their respective
skills
Use synonyms
, Others and I subscribe to the fact that educational organizations are the best place for
this
Linking Words
purpose.
to begin
Linking Words
with, schools are mainly backed with science-based approaches and incorporate sophisticated teachers.
such
Linking Words
professionals utilize customized measures to cultivate respective
skills
Use synonyms
in students and their science-based nature them hinders including conventional thinking and ?????,
therefore
Linking Words
; students would have the opportunity to learn the needed
skills
Use synonyms
without any bias towards a specific gender or race.
for instance
Linking Words
, with students learning the most efficient ways of communication that have shown impeccable results in forging relationships, they are saving themselves an enormous amount of time and energy.
furthermore
Linking Words
, educational institutes offer pupils a majority of practical experiments which instil valuable and real-world insights into social interactions in
children
Use synonyms
. importantly, engaging in these experiments simulates the outside world and
thus
Linking Words
, prepares them more for unforeseen events.
moreover
Linking Words
, the illustrated knowledge they foster through these experiments teaches them valuable lessons,
such
Linking Words
as municipal rules and respecting others' rights. take teamwork courses as an example, they depict the outside world for
children
Use synonyms
in smaller concepts, leading to a better comprehension of society and learning suitable practices.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some may claim that
parents
Use synonyms
are the initial role models for
children
Use synonyms
. they believe that it is most beneficial that
children
Use synonyms
acquire
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
through their
parents
Use synonyms
since they know their kids the best,
coupled with
Linking Words
that youngsters adhere to their
parents
Use synonyms
more than their teacher.
although
Linking Words
there is some accuracy to
this
Linking Words
notion, they are overlooking the detrimental effect of
parents
Use synonyms
' traditional way of thinking especially in families with great generation gaps. To illustrate,
parents
Use synonyms
know several ways they can be beneficial to the community.
however
Linking Words
, their approach may be exclusive to themselves and to their own generation, making it hard for kids to implement them.
to conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
may obey their
parents
Use synonyms
the most, I believe that it is imperative to focus on the accuracy of the subject being taught.
however
Linking Words
, striking a balance between these two sources serves
children
Use synonyms
in the best way.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay contains a good response to the task and covers both perspectives well. To improve, ensure each paragraph communicates its main idea clearly and concisely.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of linking phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Also, keep the use of specific examples consistent throughout the essay.
task response
You have presented creative and clear ideas throughout the essay, which helps in engaging the reader and making your arguments strong.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: