some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #tv #children #effects

It is

argured

Correct your spelling

argued

that

bad

Correct article usage

the bad

show examples

behaviour of

children

cause

Wrong verb form

is caused

show examples

TV's

Change noun form

show examples

programs

because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

addiction,

while

others

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

think that the lying

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

from those

programs

can support the growth of

children

. I believe that the

censorship

from government and

parents

can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positive effects

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

. It can be

recognzed

Correct your spelling

recognised

that

children

can be easily addicted to watching

. There are more and more cartoon or education

programs

which have colourful images and vibrant

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

attract

children

As a result

the

Correct article usage

show examples

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

children

get addicted to

programs

, they spend most of

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

which can prevent the growth

Change preposition

show examples

their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

and their logical thinking.

However

, the monitor can easily prevent the problem by

limit

Change the form of the verb

limiting

show examples

the time

children

can spend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

also

with the support from some

manage

Replace the word

management

show examples

system, it can be easier to solve that problem.

By contrast

, with the improvement of

censorship

. There are more and more lying

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

programs

for

children

. It is

Change the article

show examples

effective way to teach the

children

something when we use colours and

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

which

conclude

Correct subject-verb agreement

concludes

show examples

in most

kid's

Fix the agreement mistake

kids'

show examples

programs

. The

parents

want their child

learn

Add the particle

to learn

show examples

more about the

wolrd

Correct your spelling

world

while

producer

Fix the agreement mistake

producers

show examples

need more

viewer

Fix the agreement mistake

viewers

show examples

for their

programs

, so the

chanel

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

more lying

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

Consequently

, watching

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

more positive effects on

children

. The writer

contend

Change the verb form

contends

show examples

that for all

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

stricted

Correct your spelling

strict

censorship

from

parents

and the government,

programs

can be the best way of education for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Stricted

Correct your spelling

Strict

censorship

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

that there will not

any

Add a missing verb

be any

show examples

toxic content for the

children

, they can have the best environment to study which they can enjoy without the unappreciation from their

parents

. In conclusion,

Correct your spelling

show examples

programs

can make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

get addiction lead to bad behaviours,

while

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

have positive effects by lying

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

To improve your essay, make sure to fully develop each point with specific examples and explanations. Consider elaborating on how censorship can prevent negative effects and provide tangible benefits.

coherence cohesion

Work on your logical structure to enhance the flow of ideas in your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support it with relevant information.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical and vocabulary errors. For example, use 'argued' instead of 'argured' and 'recognized' instead of 'recognzed.' Also, clarify terms like 'lying message'—you may mean 'content that supports growth.' Rephrase confusing sentences for better clarity.

introduction conclusion

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.

task achievement

You have a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative effects of TV on children, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

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some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that robots are important for humans’ future development. Others think that robot have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that environmental pollution because of country development cannot be avoided.

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.