some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is
argured
that Correct your spelling
argued
bad
behaviour of Correct article usage
the bad
children
cause
by Wrong verb form
is caused
TV's
Change noun form
TV
programs
because of the
addiction, Correct article usage
apply
while
others who
think that the lying Correct pronoun usage
apply
message
from those Fix the agreement mistake
messages
programs
can support the growth of children
. I believe that the censorship
from government and parents
can lead to the
positive effects Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
on
children
.
It can be recognzed
that Correct your spelling
recognised
children
can be easily addicted to watching TV
. There are more and more cartoon or education programs
which have colourful images and vibrant musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
can
attract Correct pronoun usage
that can
children
. As a result
, the
Correct article usage
a
amount
of Change the quantifier
number
children
get addicted to TV
programs
, they spend most of time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
on
watching Change preposition
apply
TV
which can prevent the growth in
their Change preposition
of
body
and their logical thinking. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
However
, the monitor can easily prevent the problem by limit
the time Change the form of the verb
limiting
children
can spend on
watching Change preposition
apply
TV
, also
with the support from some manage
system, it can be easier to solve that problem.
Replace the word
management
By contrast
, with the improvement of censorship
. There are more and more lying message
on Fix the agreement mistake
messages
TV
programs
for children
. It is a
effective way to teach the Change the article
an
children
something when we use colours and musics
which Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
conclude
in most Correct subject-verb agreement
concludes
kid's
Fix the agreement mistake
kids'
programs
. The parents
want their child learn
more about the Add the particle
to learn
wolrd
, Correct your spelling
world
while
producer
need more Fix the agreement mistake
producers
viewer
for their Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
programs
, so the TV
chanel have
more lying Correct subject-verb agreement
has
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
nowaday
. Correct your spelling
nowadays
Consequently
, watching TV
have
more positive effects on Correct subject-verb agreement
has
children
.
The writer contend
that for all Change the verb form
contends
reason
, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
it
there Correct your spelling
if
are
Change the verb form
is
stricted
Correct your spelling
strict
censorship
from parents
and the government, TV
programs
can be the best way of education for the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. Stricted
Correct your spelling
Strict
censorship
mean
that there will not Change the verb form
means
any
toxic content for the Add a missing verb
be any
children
, they can have the best environment to study which they can enjoy without the unappreciation from their parents
.
In conclusion, tv
Correct your spelling
TV
programs
can make the
Correct article usage
apply
children
get addiction lead to bad behaviours, while
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
also
have positive effects by lying message
.Fix the agreement mistake
messages
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task achievement
To improve your essay, make sure to fully develop each point with specific examples and explanations. Consider elaborating on how censorship can prevent negative effects and provide tangible benefits.
coherence cohesion
Work on your logical structure to enhance the flow of ideas in your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support it with relevant information.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical and vocabulary errors. For example, use 'argued' instead of 'argured' and 'recognized' instead of 'recognzed.' Also, clarify terms like 'lying message'—you may mean 'content that supports growth.' Rephrase confusing sentences for better clarity.
introduction conclusion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative effects of TV on children, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.