Recent research has confirmed that human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural world?

It is irrefutable that by exploiting the natural
world
human beings have threatened the existence of wildlife,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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have been responsible for their loss. It happens for a variety of reasons but straightforward measures exist to ensure the survival of plants and animals. I believe two factors are to blame
why
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for why
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certain species of fauna and flora have become threatened. One of the main reasons is
attributed
Verb problem
apply
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to loss of habitat. With the population of the
world
on
rise
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the rise
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, humans have claimed increasingly large areas of land for
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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of homes and cities. An inevitable result of
this
dominance has been the removal of plants and the destruction of animal territories as can most recently be seen in the once vibrant forests of North America which are now nothing more than cemeteries of tree-dwelling animals whose homes fell under our axes. Increasing urban development has, in turn, led to global warming, which is another contributing factor. It is undeniable that temperature and rainfall are critical to the survival of wildlife. Human-caused global warming has resulted in a shift in weather patterns, resulting in flooding, drought and heat waves, all of which have taken their toll on the natural
world
by,
for example
, washing away the homes of amphibians, and drying up the roots of small plants. I believe that problem has to be tackled on a number of levels. As individuals, we should ensure that we treat the countryside with respect. Avoiding activities that harm animal life and, if possible, participating in projects or donating to charities that work to protect the
world
around us can help preserve planet Earth’s existing species. An increasing number of people in developed countries have already taken
such
initiatives, particularly the environmental activists in Canada.
Moreover
,
government
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the government
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also
needs to be involved to combat the problem. What it needs to do in their own countries is to encourage sustainability by limiting urban growth and reducing human activities which contribute to wildlife negatively. In conclusion,
although
many of the threats to plant and animal life directly result from human activity, it is now time to redress the situation. If we do not do it now, our biosphere will soon cease to exist, and the next species might become endangered.
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, work on strengthening the logical structure of your essay. While your ideas are clear, the flow between paragraphs could be made more seamless by using more transitional sentences or phrases.
task achievement
Try to provide more varied and specific examples to support your main points. The essay could benefit from a wider range of examples that illustrate the issues and solutions discussed. This will make your arguments more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well. This strongly contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of the piece.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task and presents clear, comprehensive ideas on why human activity threatens wildlife and how this impact can be mitigated.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • habitat destruction
  • urban expansion
  • deforestation
  • industrialization
  • pollution levels
  • emissions
  • agricultural practices
  • monoculture farming
  • chemical fertilizers
  • pesticides
  • climate change
  • fossil fuel combustion
  • extreme weather patterns
  • overfishing
  • poaching
  • logging
  • invasive species
  • ecological balance
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