IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that news has no connection with people’s lives; so it is a waste of time to read newspapers and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #connection #people’s #lives #waste #time #newspapers #television #programmes
The
reports
 from media contents are really important to be aware of anything for human beings. A section of society believes that
news
 is irrelevant and doesn't play a special role among people,
whether
Correct word choice
while
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 others think that reading newspapers or watching information TV shows is the best way to achieve the latest
reports
 in the world. The upcoming essay will delve into my ideology.
To begin
 with, there are some things to say about the importance of
reports
. First of all, everything that happens all around the world can spread through media
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 and papers.
Secondly
, it helps to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about the new virus, its symptoms and how we can avoid and get rid of it.
For instance
, in the age of
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemic
show examples
pandemics
Add a comma
pandemics,
show examples
news
 was the best approach to warn people about how the virus was laying out. With the help of
this
, the public acted carefully, followed the rules of safety and fought against
virus
Correct article usage
the virus
show examples
 together.
For
this
 reason, the information is the crucial system to stay updated.
On the contrary
, sometimes fake
news
 makes our life difficult. Most of the newspapers’ publishers printed completely false
reports
 in order to attract
public’s
Correct article usage
the public’s
show examples
 attention owing to the fact that the “shock”
news
 always attracts people.
Moreover
, they release these to the public without verification in order to surpass their competitors in terms of the speed of information delivery. In consequence, the spread of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fake
news
 can lead to mistrust and confusion. In conclusion, the
news
 is essential to know what is happening around us.
However
, we shouldn't believe every of
this
 and check it
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
 sure.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to keep the introduction concise while still introducing the topic clearly and presenting your stance explicitly.
task achievement
Expand on the points made and provide more specific examples to support your arguments clearly and thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Develop the conclusion further to summarize key points effectively, reiterating your overall perspective.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both perspectives of the argument, which showcases an attempt at a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The use of transition words and phrases indicates a good effort towards logical structure and cohesion between paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential information
  • local events
  • public health
  • impact
  • political developments
  • participating
  • democratic processes
  • international news
  • global issues
  • interconnectedness
  • economic news
  • personal financial decisions
  • investments
  • cultural news
  • social awareness
  • community engagement
  • selective consumption
  • knowledgeable
  • pertinent matters
What to do next:
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