Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?
In many societies, obtaining formal education is a necessity and parents tend to gauge children's capability from their
school
scores. However
, there are proofs where
the individual who failed in Correct word choice
that
school
still still
Remove the redundancy
apply
succeed
in work Correct subject-verb agreement
succeeds
life
and there is a possible answer to these cases. While
formal education equips people
with the initial knowledge
, there are essential things that have a significant part in bringing success in life
.
Formal schools are places to educate people
with theoretical knowledge
in a curriculum that is
prepared by the government and in my opinion, schools are not a place to gauge children's abilities in the future. Subjects that are taught such
as math and science are used to gauge the quality of children's knowledge
, while
there is no doubt that people
have a lot of abilities other than what is taught in formal school
. For example
, in Indonesia, there are people
who struggle with math but have talent in communication skills
or design and once they are guided to pursue it they can master it in no time. Besides
, proper education in school
can not be a measurement of people
's capability because it only teaches us about certain subjects while
in reality, especially in work life
, this
knowledge
only contributes to a small amount of success.
Based on the previous considerations, many have said that soft skills
are the important thing to success in life
, in addition
, there are a lot of soft skills
such
as communication, adaptability and resilience. To be accepted in society, these skills
are important because we interact directly and we can not learn them theoretically. What's more, in a dynamic society, people
must be able to adapt to the new environment and always learn new things because being well-educated does not guarantee that people
can adapt easily. For example
, in work life
we are required to have certain technical skills
, however
, to climb higher positions, mentality and soft skills
are notable things to have. To sum up
, it is important to have soft skills
other than knowledge
from a formal school
.
To conclude
, failing in school
does not mean that people
are going to fail in life
because the school
only teaches theoretical knowledge
and it is up to us to implement it in daily life
. Because of that, the important thing to have is soft skills
to keep us adaptable to life
which is always changing.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and you provide a relatively complete response to the task. However, some parts of the essay could be more explicitly linked to each other. Make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and you made good points throughout the essay. But some sentences could be a little more concise to make your points even sharper. Focus on clarity and brevity.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples and details in your essay. This will help make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and each point is introduced in a clear manner. However, you can improve the flow between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases and linking words.
coherence cohesion
It is important that each of your main points is well-supported by relevant examples or explanations. Ensure that you delve deeper into your examples to make your arguments more robust.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent terminology and avoid repetition. This can help make your argumentation feel more fluid and cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
logical structure
You demonstrated a good logical structure throughout the essay, which makes it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided generally clear and comprehensive ideas that address the essay prompt effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?