Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
It is widely believed that achievements are only possible with
university
Correct article usage
a university
educations
, Fix the agreement mistake
education
while
the majority of the
people think that practical experiences Correct article usage
apply
is
a key point of Change the verb form
are
the
learning. It is not surprising to see how Correct article usage
apply
this
debate has caused a
controversy among people, Correct article usage
apply
however
, I have solid reasons to agree with both sides which are deep learning and waste
of time.
Correct article usage
a waste
To begin
with, supporters of this
matter point out that university
Correct article usage
a university
education
is the bedrock of the
Correct article usage
apply
succeed
. Replace the word
success
This
is because high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
of
Change preposition
apply
education
centers which are universities, resource
centers teach deep and crucial information. Correct word choice
and resource
For example
, students who graduated from university
cognitive reactions are better than others. This
is very
convincing argument depending on the fact that students should dedicate Correct article usage
a very
theirself
to Correct your spelling
themselves
achieve
something in the Wrong verb form
achieving
university
education
. In short, the advocates of this
matter claim that educational achievement can only compare to get
a Wrong verb form
getting
university
education
.
On the other hand
, opponents of this
matter have a totally different perspective. They emphasize that only students who want to be academic tutor
like Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
professor
should go to the Fix the agreement mistake
professors
university
, otherwise
, they believe that it is a waste of time. For example
, many sources show that companies prefer to work with employees who have a long-term working experiences
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a long-term working experience
long-term working experiences
This
is a persuasive point out
that academic Change preposition
apply
back ground
is not Correct your spelling
background
important
as practical learning for Rephrase
as important
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
succeed
. Replace the word
success
Also
, thanks to technology there are various sources on the Internet for learning new topic
. Fix the agreement mistake
topics
Therefore
, it is not a
obligation for pupils to get Change the article
an
university
Add an article
a university
education
for
succeed.
In conclusion, people have a totally different view about Change preposition
to
this
debate. Nevertheless
, when everything is considered, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between these two arguments.Submitted by emiretatli7 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that your arguments within the body paragraphs are more logically structured. Use topic sentences and transitions to ensure that your points flow well.
task response
While you have responded to the task and discussed both views, make sure each paragraph addresses a single main point clearly. Avoid introducing too many ideas within one paragraph. This will help make your argument more comprehensive.
task response
Improve the specificity and relevance of your examples. Use clear, specific instances to support your arguments more effectively.
task response
Your intention to discuss both perspectives and offer your own opinion is clear and aligns well with the task requirements.
supported main points
You have provided some convincing arguments and examples, especially when discussing the differing viewpoints on the necessity of university education.