IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.

#plan #health #centre #b #place
The illustration compares the arrangement of the
health
centre
's rooms and facilities in 2005 and in the present day. It can be observed that the
health
centre
 has been renovated and it has more rooms and less space for a garden these days compared to that of 2005.
According to
 plan A, in 2005, the
health
centre
's car park could cater to only twelve motor vehicles. From the entrance of the building, the welcome desk was at the
centre
 of the building and that was surrounded by three consultation rooms and the office. There are seats for guests on the left side of the reception
room
 entry. The hospital
also
 had a physiotherapy
room
 which was located behind the second consulting
room
.
Moreover
, the garden outside the building was quite wide and surrounded the
health
centre
. The renovation took place in the hospital and nowadays there are additional facilities in the
health
centre
such
 as an operating
room
 for minor procedures and a place for children's recreation. Now the parking area can accommodate thirty cars and wider compared to their carpark area in the year 2005. It can
also
 be observed that some changes were made in the reception
room
.
Moreover
, its entrance is relocated at the left side of the building
as well as
 its reception desk which is a few steps away from their entrance door. A new consultancy
room
 was added and today, the
health
centre
 can perform minor operations as they have a dedicated operation
room
 adjacent to the office and just beside the physiotherapy
room
.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

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task achievement
Try to add more specific details about the differences in room sizes, locations and any new rooms added to give a complete picture.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clearly distinct to create a more structured essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive comparison of the plans from both years, addressing major changes effectively.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally clear and expressed in a coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and smooth flow of information enhance readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health centre
  • renovation
  • modernization
  • layout
  • consultation rooms
  • treatment rooms
  • pharmacy
  • accessibility
  • parking facilities
  • disabled access
  • technological advancements
  • preventive care
  • rehabilitation services
  • administrative offices
  • community needs
  • public health policy
  • expansion
  • reduction
  • entrance area
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