IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books and they should not waste their limited resources and expensive hi-tech media such as computer software,videos and DVDs.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the current age, technology is developing at a startling pace providing
people
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 with easier access to all sorts of information.
While
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 digital
books
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 and multi-media devices are gaining
their
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apply
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popularity, a lot of criticism follows.
People
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 say that
libraries
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 should not waste money on machines to replace
books
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,
however
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, I disagree with
this
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 point of view. It is undeniable that
paper printed
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paper-printed
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books
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 have many merits,
such
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 as protecting
reader's
Correct article usage
the reader's
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 eye-sight and enhancing
people
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's physical health by maintaining a good reading habit.
In addition
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, reading paper
books
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 may offer fewer distractions.
For instance
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, indulging in words and pages makes
people
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 hard to realize that
Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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time has already passed away, unlike reading on a modern device, adverts may pop up anytime to distract readers from their original reading purposes. Though
libraries
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 should definitely keep printed
books
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, it doesn't mean they should close the door to modern technologies which may bring more benefits.
To begin
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 with,
libraries
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 are places where
people
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seaching
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searching
 for various
of
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apply
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resources, and digital devices enable information and knowledge to be acquired by faster and easier means in
libraries
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.
For instance
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, if
people
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 look for a historical event, it may take them one hour to find the right book and the right page.
On the contrary
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, by simply typing
key words
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keywords
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 in a
serching
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searching
engin
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engine
, the story will be fully presented on the screen.
Furthermore
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, hi-tech machines provide
people
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 with universal access to information presented by various media forms.
For example
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, numerous images on computers, vivid videos on DVDs, and live broadcasting on Apps and streaming media platforms, all
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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promote the development of
libraries
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thus
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 making readers' learning more enjoyable.
To conclude
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,
books
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 in
the
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apply
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libraries
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 play a vital role as they are good for
people
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's health and
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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 reader's concentration,
on the other hand
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, the modern age is calling for an evolution of
libraries
Use synonyms
 by increasing digital facilities to meet current informational needs.

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Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your examples are particularly relevant and specific. In the second paragraph, the examples supporting the advantages of printed books could be more concrete and real-life based. For instance, discussing specific studies that show how physical books aid in concentration and eye health could add depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on improving the logical structure slightly to make the transition between points smoother. For example, the second paragraph introduces the advantages of paper books but could use a clearer transition sentence to relate directly to the importance of libraries maintaining traditional resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Despite a good introduction and conclusion, work on strengthening the link between paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' 'On the other hand,' etc., to help guide the reader more fluidly through your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses both viewpoints, providing a balanced perspective that acknowledges the benefits of both printed books and modern technology.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well formulated, clearly outlining the main points of the essay and summarizing them effectively.
Task Achievement
Main points are supported with examples which helps in elaborating the standpoint and giving clarity to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Information hub
  • Cultural repository
  • Multimedia resources
  • Digital inclusion
  • Technological advancements
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Evolving paradigms
  • Equitable access
  • Literacy
  • Knowledge dissemination
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