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Band 6.5

Write an essay to educated reader about the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities

#reader #cities
In recent years, living in a big
city
 has been of great concern to the public. There is a large number of
people
 who wish to live in the metropolis. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
this
 issue. The main benefit of living in big cities is that
people
 can earn more money. There are many factories and companies here, so there will be more job opportunities. Another reason is that it would upside the quality of life will be higher in the township. There is futuristic infrastructure and advanced technology here.
Moreover
,
people
 can live in the baronial high-rises of the metropolis. Another additional advantage of living in a big
city
 is that there are many places for
people
 to entertain and unwind.
People
 can go to the supermarket, amusement park,
movie
Correct word choice
and movie
show examples
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
,...
Therefore
, living in urban is good for
people
.
However
, living in a metropolis is not completely beneficial; there are some negative aspects that should be taken into consideration. The serious disadvantage of living in a big
city
 is there may be many social evils here because there are means that cause us to become depraved or influenced by bad pleasures. Another negative aspect of living in urban would be environmental pollution. There are many vehicles, emissions from factories, and the hustle and bustle of the
city
 or inner-
city
 slums. In
this
 way, living in big cities is rather bad for
people
. All in all, living in a township has both pros and cons. Considering all the points mentioned above, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
 issue overshadow its disadvantages.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider including more specific examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better logical flow.
general
Work on refining sentence structure and vocabulary use to enhance clarity and precision of the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, addressing the prompt adequately.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, helping to frame the discussion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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