IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more and more information and resources related to arts and entertainment are being digitised. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the
digitisation
Use synonyms
 of arts and entertainment resources has become increasingly common.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has raised concerns about authenticity and cultural preservation, I believe the advantages it brings,
such
Linking Words
 as greater accessibility and wider audience reach, far outweigh the disadvantages. One of the key benefits of
digitisation
Use synonyms
 is improved access to cultural content. Museums, art galleries, and theatres can now share their collections and performances online, allowing people from around the world to experience them regardless of geographical or financial limitations.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many institutions offered virtual tours and live-streamed concerts, making art and culture available to those stuck at home.
This
Linking Words
 trend continues to break down barriers, promoting global cultural awareness and appreciation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, digital platforms help preserve delicate artworks and performances. Physical art is vulnerable to damage, theft, and decay over time. By creating digital versions, these works can be protected for future generations. In the case of performing arts, recordings ensure that unique performances are not lost forever but can be studied and enjoyed later.
Additionally
Linking Words
, artists and entertainers can now reach larger audiences through social media and streaming services, opening up new opportunities for recognition and income.
However
Linking Words
, critics argue that
digitisation
Use synonyms
 may lead to a loss of authenticity. Viewing a famous painting on a screen cannot replicate the experience of seeing it in person. There is
also
Linking Words
 concern that digital content can be easily copied or misused, leading to intellectual property issues. Despite these valid points, the growing use of copyright protection tools and secure digital platforms helps to mitigate these problems. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
digitisation
Correct article usage
the digitisation
show examples
 of arts and entertainment has a few drawbacks, the increased accessibility, preservation, and promotion it provides make the advantages more significant. As technology continues to evolve, it is essential to strike a balance between digital access and preserving the authenticity of cultural experiences.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay clearly answers the question and presents a strong viewpoint, which is excellent. However, try to enhance your explanations with more specific details or examples to support some of your points further.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good logical structure in your essay that is easy to follow. Consider using more linking words to help connect your ideas and paragraphs even more smoothly.
task achievement
You made good points about accessibility and preservation. To improve, add one more example or personal insight that relates to the impact of digitisation on your life or society.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your main ideas well, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, like the virtual tours during the COVID-19 pandemic, which makes your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: