Some people say it is manufactures' and supermarkets’ responsibility to reduce the amount of packing of products they sell and others say it is the consumers’ responsibility to avoid buying products with too much packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, packaging has become a serious matter for the environment.
While
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some people argue that products need to be lightly packed in industries and stores, others think that the customer should avoid buying those goods which are heavily packed. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and share my opinion. 
Instead
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of spending too much money on proper packaging, industries must find alternative ways to pack their final goods. Each product needs to have the perfect
package
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in order to reduce waste.
For example
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, Amazon, one of the largest e-commerce companies, delivers its goods in a much larger
package
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compared to the size of the product.
For
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this
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reason, the shipment costs are bigger and,
in addition
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, the customer gets more responsibility to dispose of waste properly. 
On the other hand
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, consumers should
also
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take responsibility for the environment by choosing more environmentally friendly packaging like reusable or biodegradable bags.
This
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can be achieved if they start carrying their own bag to the supermarket, which will lead to a
fewer
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lower
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consumption of plastic bags.
Furthermore
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, people need to focus more on the quality of the product rather than the packaging.
For instance
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, if there is the possibility to buy fruits and vegetables in paper bags
instead
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of plastic, we should take it because
the
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apply
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paper is a more recyclable and reusable material.  In conclusion, I fervently believe that both supermarkets and consumers should focus less on the
package
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by providing us with a more biodegradable
package
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or even those that can be used more than once.
Submitted by cice on

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task achievement
Although the essay introduces the topic clearly in the introduction, further elaboration on the conclusion could strengthen the overall argument. Make it clear how shared responsibility could be the ultimate solution—or if you side more with one group over the other, clarify why.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a good logical structure, try to use more cohesive devices to smoothly transition between points. Words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or phrases like 'As a result,' can help make your argument flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
To better support main points, include more detailed examples or statistical data to substantiate your claims. Both the manufacturer and consumer responsibility arguments could benefit from specific case studies or research that reinforce your premises.
task achievement
The essay does well in addressing both perspectives, presenting a balanced view on an important environmental issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the topic, clearly outlining what will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion ties the essay together by reiterating the shared responsibility, leaving readers with a clear takeaway message.
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