population to improve their life. In my view, I agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion.
Body paragraph 1
There is no denying that we should spend a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
can protect wild
animals
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wild
animals
Use synonyms
help balance the ecosystem and help improve the air better. It
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
an important role in
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
chain.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
study and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
understand
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
is the best
opinion
Correct your spelling
option
show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should invest a lot of
money
Use synonyms
in education and medicine
such
Linking Words
as buying
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new equipment for
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
and anyone.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
besides
Linking Words
the spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
and time to protect
animals
Use synonyms
, we
also
Linking Words
spend
money
Use synonyms
for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
in the world.
anhpham.712688
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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main points you will discuss in your essay. For example, specify that you will address both the importance of investing in wild animal protection and in human welfare.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity. For instance, one paragraph can detail the importance of spending money on wild animals, while another can focus on the benefits for human populations.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific species that are endangered or specific improvements in human life that result from better education or healthcare.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay, which helps reinforce the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay covers both aspects of the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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