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Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #development
There is no doubt that these days,
people
 are becoming in
rush
Correct article usage
a rush
show examples
 and want everything to be done instantly. The question is, why in recent times more and more
people
 want to finish things in a rush? In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of the positive side, the swift services make our life easier, and It is a high achievement. The main reason given to support
this
 claim is that. To illustrate, If everything is done in a short
time
 or instantly,
then
 we save more
time
 so we can do more and more work, or we could invest the
time
 saved in other things.
In other words
, many
people
 want to finish things instantly. So they can start doing something else.
Moreover
, finishing work immediately that going to drive development.
Firstly
, the quick services will be one of the
people
's needs.
In other words
, the
people
 ask for fast processing.
For example
,
people
 now tend to use
call
Correct your spelling
cell
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 phones more than emails to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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companies or friends to answer their questions or get information because they cannot wait. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 disagree with the idea of being fast, and they see
people
 should wait because something has to take a
while
, the other group of
people
 agreeable with the idea we should be a fast world so that will reflect our achievements.
Therefore
, I believe that not everyone can afford a long
time
, so we should have done everything instantly.
Submitted by Yousef on

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Task Achievement
Task response could be improved by directly addressing the question's components. The essay needs to explain clearly why this trend of immediate gratification occurs, before evaluating whether it is positive or negative. Remember to stay on topic and provide clear answers to both aspects of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your ideas are organized and transitions are smooth. Paragraphs need to have clear main ideas followed by explanations and examples. Referencing words can help with the flow but be aware of overusing phrases like 'in other words'. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices and sentence structures.
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