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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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the debate over which academic level is the most conducive to
language
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 acquisition has sparked considerable controversy.
although
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 learning a second
language
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 at primary school may have some drawbacks, in my opinion, the merits of
this
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 sentiment are of higher significance and
further
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 elaborated in
this
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 essay.
to begin
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 with, during primary school, pupils have the greatest level of cognitive capacity and flexibility which enables them to acquire respective
subjects
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, particularly linguistic skills, easily. Being at the earliest
language
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 acquisition level, their mind is ready more than ever to learn faster and in more quantity. to illustrate, the pace at which youngsters learn alphabetic elements of a foreign
language
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 is remarkedly lower than that of elderlies.
hence
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, primary schools is the era in which students can have the best performance in learning.
additionally
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, as children move to superior educational levels, their curricula will be more occupied and complicated. having to deal with rigorous
subjects
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, their mind would have less capacity and energy for learning new
subjects
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such
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 as a whole new
language
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.
moreover
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, introducing an unfamiliar subject in the middle of a substantial amount of information they are already exposed to, contributes to mental distress and anxiety, ultimately resulting in their resentment and distracting them from their educational pursuit.
on the other hand
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, tutoring a second
language
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 to primary schoolers may have them shocked and terrified of their
further
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 academic path since it may seem laborious for them.
furthermore
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, the fact that they have not been sophisticated in their native speaking yet, makes it more difficult for them to acquire
such
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subjects
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.
however
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,
due to
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 their enormous mental capacity
as well as
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 curiosity, they are capable of juggling native and foreign languages at the same time. take English courses for Persian kids as an example. in
such
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 sessions, tailored teachers implement joyful methods that trigger kids' curiosity which have proved greatly efficient in their respective pursuits. in a nutshell,
although
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such
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subjects
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 may seem scarrying to children, I firmly believe it can be compensated by their urge to explore new things,
coupled with
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 their great mental abilities, and enable them to take advantage of the positive sides of learning in early stages of education,
such
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 as high speed and more quantity.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and completeness of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point and develops it fully.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure for your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively and provided a balanced view of the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
Your use of examples, although needing more detail, demonstrates an effort to support your arguments with relevant specifics.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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