Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, whike others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of individuals claim that some improvements in terms of technology assist in declining the figures of criminality. Other people contend that it could be enhanced .From my point of view, modern technological devices have diminished the percentage of crime situations over the past decades.
First of all, it is undeniable that, in the contemporary world, technology has seen a huge positive evolution.
Also
, it significantly influences every situation in our lives. Following
this
approach, several devices were discovered that play a key role in determining all crimes and thefts immediately. For instance
, it is noticeable that, approximately everywhere, you can see cameras that are controlled by professional IT specialists. The primary reason for that is
to solve all crime situations thanks to them.From my perspective, it can be considered beneficial and safe for our society.
Secondly
, in the 21st century, scammers don't make an effort to commit crimes in real life. More precisely, they try to implement it through online websites.For example
, they are making an attempt to steal someone's personal details and utilizing them to receive money from the bank. The exact name is cyberattack, which is popular nowadays with unbelievably many accidents. The exact purpose of them is to destroy people's data and create some trouble in their lives. Moreover
, it may be regarded as the main drawback of the advancement of technology.Nevertheless
, being careful, I hope no one will witness situations like that.
To sum up
, I reckon that technological growth is advantageous for our community in terms of lowering the proportion of criminality. However
, we can see some cyberattacks on our bank accounts or personal information. Therefore
, we should always take precautions before facing these accidents.Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, some ideas are not fully developed, and there are instances where ideas could be expanded further to make your arguments stronger. Try to include more specific examples and elaborate on your points to enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, in the body paragraphs, some points can be better connected to improve the logical flow of ideas. Using more transition words and phrases could help to make the connections between sentences and paragraphs clearer.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.
complete response
Relevant points have been raised about both views of the argument, showing a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
Mentioning specific aspects such as 'cyberattacks' and 'online websites' helps to make your points relevant and clear.