Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children wil find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary era, some families choose to migrate abroad in order to get better employment opportunities.
Although
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,
this
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trend is beneficial for children as they can get a better
education
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as well as
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knowledge about different
cultures
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, in the opposite direction
this
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can be detrimental to children’s mental status and orthodox values. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both the given school of thought followed by my own opinion.
To begin
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with, it has a plethora of benefits for
kids
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to move abroad with their parents. First and foremost, they can be exposed to not only diverse
cultures
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but
also
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multiple languages. In that, nowadays more and more families around the world are choosing to move overseas .
As a result
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, these immigrants meet each other and exchange their cultural values and younger people benefit from it.
For instance
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,
according to
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one research,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
kid who has been living in a foreign country has a better understanding of diverse
cultures
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and languages than a child who is living in his native country.
Moreover
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, children get the advantage of a decent
education
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system in Western countries, which can prepare them to compete in
this
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cut-throat competition era.
However
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, the supporters of the opposition argue that
this
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phenomenon has negative effects on the development of youth. To elaborate, at the early stage of their life , it is not easy for them to leave their childhood friends
as well as
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relatives behind. Because of
this
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, many
kids
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find themselves either isolated or they become aggressive.
For example
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, nearly 35% of younger
kids
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reported depression in the year 2022
due to
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migration from their original country.
In addition
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,
this
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trend can
also
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have another drawback in which
kids
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can lose connection with their moral values
as well as
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rituals. In my opinion, I am in favour of the former view because it has more advantages in comparison with the latter view
such
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as better
education
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and exposure to multiple
cultures
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. It can be eventually commented that migrating abroad has positives
as well as
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negatives for
kids
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. Though it has detrimental effects on their developmental growth , it provides better
education
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services
as well as
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awareness about different groups.
Submitted by pp86859 on

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task achievement
To enhance the response, try to integrate examples more seamlessly. Use them to directly support specific points within the argument.
coherence cohesion
For a clearer progression of ideas, consider using more transitional phrases or linking words to guide the reader from one point to the next.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and states the writer's own opinion, which strengthens the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a good structure, with each paragraph addressing a distinct point. This enhances coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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