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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

#decade #air #travel
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Over the
last
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 few
years
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years,
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 the
number
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 of
air
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 passengers has increased dramatically. There are a
number
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 of reasons for
this
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 increase with some corresponding benefits.
However
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, it has
also
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 caused some problems with regard to the environment. There are three main reasons for the growth in
air
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travel
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, namely reduced costs, more convenience and an improved network. As regards the cost, there are now many budget airlines offering
low cost
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low-cost
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 flights.
This
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 has meant that other airlines have lowered their fares in order to compete.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are now able to book their own flights online as opposed to through a
travel
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 agent, ensuring that they get the best price.
Finally
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, with more international airports than ever before, it is much easier to fly than in the past. Generally, these changes have been mostly positive for
people
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.
Air
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travel
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 is no longer limited to the wealthy and more
people
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 have been offered the chance to experience new cultures and experience new things.
Additionally
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, more families are able to
travel
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 abroad for holidays than in the past. Despite these benefits for
people
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,
air
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travel
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 has had a negative effect on the environment.
This
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 is mostly because aviation fuel produces a large volume of greenhouse gasses which in turn cause climate change.
Furthermore
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, the increased
number
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 of flights has led to more noise pollution which affects the quality of life for many
people
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.
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Finally
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Finally,
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 it can be argued that airports have a negative impact on the surrounding country and wildlife. In conclusion, it is evident that there are a
number
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 of reasons for the increase in
air
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travel
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 and that
this
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 rise has been largely beneficial on an individual level.
However
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, the environmental impact of
air
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travel
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 needs careful consideration.
Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on

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task response
While the essay addresses the task comprehensively and presents clear ideas, it would benefit from more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points. Including statistics, anecdotes, or case studies could help in making your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are well-organized and there's a clear logical structure. However, the essay would be even stronger if there was a smoother transition between some ideas and paragraphs. Consider using more cohesive devices to tie your arguments together seamlessly.
task response
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph logically flows to the next, making it easy to follow your argument.
task response
There is a good balance between discussing the reasons for increased air travel and addressing its benefits and drawbacks, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
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