In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is commonly believed by many that having been hard-working enough, the youth can obtain whatever they aim for. The writer, in light of
this
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, contends that despite the drawback of being overwhelmed, it is entirely outweighed by the benefits of a sense of confidence
coupled with
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valuable insights.
Initially
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, it must be recognized that by studying industriously, there will be many chances for teenagers to learn from previous mistakes. To clarify, if children focus intensively on their education that requires long-term concentration, they can identify their own weaknesses and strengths,
thus
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improving these factors to become personal values. These diligent students, over time, can perform better in academic fields compared to their peers at school,
therefore
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becoming more confident and achieving brighter success. Specifically, the education system in Vietnam is a prime example of
this
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, where young learners are advised to redo their homework as many times as possible to learn from prior errors, thereby not only doing better in later exams but
also
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obtaining forthcoming achievements.
Additionally
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, opportunities to deal with difficulties must be taken into consideration when it comes to industriousness. To explain
further
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, compared to those who just concentrate on fundamental level education, students who are industrious may opt for
further
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ones in which they must attend unprecedented pieces of information to become well-informed learners.
This
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knowledge,
subsequently
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, will be valuable insights for the young generation to apply in tackling subsequent obstacles in life.
For instance
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, countless students in China decide to keep their majors in medicine after graduating from university,
hence
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being able to do first aid emergencies and rescue others in their later lives. Sceptics,
however
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, justify that should young learners become highly focused on their studies, they can easily be overwhelmed or depressed.
This
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is true in Singapore, where parents find that their children have suffered from stress, depression, and other mental health disorders after concentrating on learning over a long course of time, so
instead
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they encourage them to work smarter, not harder.To a certain extent,
this
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is credible,
nonetheless
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, it is crucial to acknowledge that if the youth’s intelligence is gained but not developed or practised well to use frequently,
this
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will be lost easily
as a result
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.
Consequently
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, these children who are not hard-working will fall behind, lose their potential, and become unsuccessful individuals later on. In conclusion, even though some overemphasize the pressure of long studying hours, it is obviously outweighed by the advantages of confidence and priceless experiences. It is,
in addition
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, apparent that the more diligent teenagers are, the brighter careers they are likely to acquire.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain better flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be clearer or more concise. This will make complex ideas more accessible and firmly convey your points.
task achievement
While examples are relevant, consider diversifying them to provide a more well-rounded perspective.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded argument addressing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
task achievement
Utilizes specific examples that support the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout, making it easy to follow the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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