In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
It is commonly believed by many that having been hard-working enough, the youth can obtain whatever they aim for. The writer, in light of
this
, contends that despite the drawback of being overwhelmed, it is entirely outweighed by the benefits of a sense of confidence Linking Words
coupled with
valuable insights.
Linking Words
Initially
, it must be recognized that by studying industriously, there will be many chances for teenagers to learn from previous mistakes. To clarify, if children focus intensively on their education that requires long-term concentration, they can identify their own weaknesses and strengths, Linking Words
thus
improving these factors to become personal values. These diligent students, over time, can perform better in academic fields compared to their peers at school, Linking Words
therefore
becoming more confident and achieving brighter success. Specifically, the education system in Vietnam is a prime example of Linking Words
this
, where young learners are advised to redo their homework as many times as possible to learn from prior errors, thereby not only doing better in later exams but Linking Words
also
obtaining forthcoming achievements.
Linking Words
Additionally
, opportunities to deal with difficulties must be taken into consideration when it comes to industriousness. To explain Linking Words
further
, compared to those who just concentrate on fundamental level education, students who are industrious may opt for Linking Words
further
ones in which they must attend unprecedented pieces of information to become well-informed learners. Linking Words
This
knowledge, Linking Words
subsequently
, will be valuable insights for the young generation to apply in tackling subsequent obstacles in life. Linking Words
For instance
, countless students in China decide to keep their majors in medicine after graduating from university, Linking Words
hence
being able to do first aid emergencies and rescue others in their later lives.
Sceptics, Linking Words
however
, justify that should young learners become highly focused on their studies, they can easily be overwhelmed or depressed. Linking Words
This
is true in Singapore, where parents find that their children have suffered from stress, depression, and other mental health disorders after concentrating on learning over a long course of time, so Linking Words
instead
they encourage them to work smarter, not harder.To a certain extent, Linking Words
this
is credible, Linking Words
nonetheless
, it is crucial to acknowledge that if the youth’s intelligence is gained but not developed or practised well to use frequently, Linking Words
this
will be lost easily Linking Words
as a result
. Linking Words
Consequently
, these children who are not hard-working will fall behind, lose their potential, and become unsuccessful individuals later on.
In conclusion, even though some overemphasize the pressure of long studying hours, it is obviously outweighed by the advantages of confidence and priceless experiences. It is, Linking Words
in addition
, apparent that the more diligent teenagers are, the brighter careers they are likely to acquire.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain better flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be clearer or more concise. This will make complex ideas more accessible and firmly convey your points.
task achievement
While examples are relevant, consider diversifying them to provide a more well-rounded perspective.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded argument addressing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
task achievement
Utilizes specific examples that support the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout, making it easy to follow the argument.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...