In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving exisitng public transport. Discuss both views and give your own pinion.
Nowadays, many
people
believe that new railway lines should be constructed to connect cities
, while
others believe that it would be a waste of money
, and it would be better to improve existing public transport
.
On the one hand, new railways would be beneficial for a lot of people
. In fact
, that would reduce travel time between cities
, making travelling more efficient for business travellers or university students. For example
, many could benefit because they would have many new and different job opportunities, which lead to a higher salary, and students could enrol in further
universities without having to spend too much money
on accommodation. Consequently
, investing in new railways can create jobs and stimulate the economy. Additionally
, a better connection between cities
can have a big impact on tourism,
and can make moving around different places easier. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, fast-speed trains are more environmentally friendly if compared to planes or cars, thus
, the carbon footprint would be reduced.
On the other hand
, improving existing public transport
would benefit people
on a daily basis, enhancing the quality of life for city residents. In fact
, it is common for buses or trains to be often late and full. By introducing more rides or improving the services, people
would benefit.
Moreover
, improving existing public transport
would be cheaper and quicker to implement compared to building completely new railway lines. In fact
, that would cost a great amount of money
and it would take quite a few
time. Correct quantifier usage
little
Besides
, better public transport
in cities
could reduce the use of personal vehicles, thus
contributing to a more sustainable urban environment.
To conclude
, I believe that governments should spend money
on both new railways and existing ones, in order to have advantages for more people
. In fact
, by improving the existing public transport
, city residents would have a higher quality of life and it would be more environmentally friendly. However
, by creating new ways of transport
, citizens would have more job opportunities and the economy would definitely rise.Submitted by chi63hi
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well but can benefit from a more engaging opening statement. Consider starting with a compelling fact or question to capture the reader's interest.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some points could be expanded for clarity. For example, while it's mentioned that improving public transport is cheaper, provide specific details or data to strengthen this point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of connecting phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. Words like 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'furthermore' can aid in achieving this.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs dedicated to each viewpoint, which aids overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced final opinion, which ties the essay together well.
complete response
The essay covers both perspectives comprehensively, and offers a thoughtful personal opinion in the conclusion, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.