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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#educationalists #exchange #visits #benefit #teenagers #school
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One school of thought holds that studying overseas will bring a plethora of advantages for young learners.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of
this
 tendency before concluding that the former is more significant. On the one hand, studying abroad will be detrimental to the learning path of youngsters at academic institutions. On an individual level, kids who study at overseas schools have a tendency to cause homesickness and emotional distress.
This
 is because, they are too familiar and bond with their
parents
, so it is a huge challenge for them to live without their
parents
. From an economic perspective, the fees for
students
 to broaden their horizons in another country will be exorbitant for their
parents
. Vietnam is a prime example, where the tuition fees are quite low compared to those in developed nations
such
 as the United States.
This
 can be an obstacle for
parents
 who want to send their children abroad for education.
On the other hand
, there are various reasons why I am convinced that there are many opportunities for young individuals to access the international curriculum in other countries. One reason is that
,
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 immature learners could easily enhance their language skills, which means
instead
 of listening to English through passive learning, now young learners could engage face-to-face with native teachers and friends or even their host at their homestay.
As a result
, those who become exchange
students
 could enhance their academic performance when it comes to studying English. Another reason is that
students
 could be exposed to different cultures, compared with their hometown. By travelling and studying in other countries, young pupils could not only deepen their knowledge in terms of culture but
also
 develop their soft skills through the international programs of the country, where they study.
For instance
, through collaboration on projects with international peers,
students
 hone their teamwork and problem-solving skills, fostering intercultural understanding and adaptability. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that adopting overseas knowledge from other countries could be negative for trainees who study in high school, I would contend that a growing number of chances exist for
students
 to pursue international curriculums in other nations.
Submitted by hungn61001 on

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Tone Consistency
Be mindful of maintaining a more formal and consistent tone throughout the essay. Avoid colloquial expressions and ensure the formality of your language matches the academic setting.
Sentence Variety
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing. This not only keeps the reader engaged but also demonstrates your command of the language.
Example Diversity
Consider integrating more distinct and diverse examples that directly support your main points. Specific examples enrich your argument, making it more compelling and authoritative.
Topic Understanding
Your essay provides a clear and balanced view of the topic, effectively addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of international exchange visits. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the subject.
Essay Structure
The logical flow and structure of your essay, including a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guide the reader through your argument.
Concluding Statements
Your use of concluding statements to reinforce your stance adds strength to your argument, making it clear and persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationalists
  • international exchange visits
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • exposes
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • enhances
  • language skills
  • promotes
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • builds
  • lifelong friendships
  • provides
  • unique learning experiences
  • expensive
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • careful planning
  • logistical arrangements
  • disrupt
  • academic progress
  • safety
  • security risks
  • cultural appropriation
  • misunderstandings
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