Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Traffic
and housing problems
are significant challenges in urban areas
. To address these issues, the government suggests relocating businesses
and factories to rural areas
. This
move aims to reduce the population density in cities, which is a primary cause of traffic
congestion
and housing shortages. I agree with this
approach, as dispersing the population through industrial decentralization can effectively mitigate these urban problems
.
One of the main contributors to urban problems
is the high population density in cities, leading to increased vehicle numbers and, consequently
, traffic
congestion
. This
issue is particularly acute during rush hours,
when residents commute to and from work. Relocating Remove the comma
apply
businesses
to rural areas
could encourage employees to move closer to their workplaces, thereby easing urban congestion
. Additionally
, this
shift could boost the rural economy by increasing average salaries and stimulating local economic activity. For instance
, Indonesia's decision to move its capital to a less populated island aimed to reduce congestion
and improve living conditions in the former capital.
Traffic
congestion
not only causes delays but also
contributes significantly to air
pollution, resulting in poor air
quality. This
pollution is primarily due to
emissions from the increased number of vehicles on city streets. Reducing urban traffic
by relocating businesses
could lead to a decrease in vehicle emissions, thereby improving air
quality. Additionally
, enhancing green spaces by planting more trees can further
help purify the air
, as trees absorb carbon dioxide and produce oxygen. For example
, the Indonesian government has initiated programs requiring households to plant trees to combat air
pollution.
In conclusion, relocating businesses
to rural areas
can lead to a significant reduction in urban traffic
and housing problems
, improve air
quality, and stimulate rural economic growth. By addressing these critical issues, the benefits of this
strategy clearly outweigh any potential drawbacks, making it a viable solution for improving living conditions both in cities and rural areas
.Submitted by ivannizar on
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coherence
Your essay is very well-structured, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next. However, to enhance coherence further, consider using more sophisticated linking words and phrases to connect your ideas within paragraphs.
task response
You’ve done an excellent job addressing the task prompt comprehensively. Nonetheless, make sure to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition and improve the overall readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points and reinforce the argument. This is a strong feature that helps achieve a high score in terms of coherence and cohesion.
relevant specific examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the situation in Indonesia, adds relevance and credibility to your arguments. This is an excellent practice for responding to the task prompt completely and convincingly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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