Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#traffic #cities #government #businesses #move

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Traffic

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and housing

problems

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are significant challenges in urban

areas

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. To address these issues, the government suggests relocating

businesses

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and factories to rural

areas

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This

Linking Words

move aims to reduce the population density in cities, which is a primary cause of

traffic

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congestion

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and housing shortages. I agree with

this

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approach, as dispersing the population through industrial decentralization can effectively mitigate these urban

problems

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. One of the main contributors to urban

problems

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is the high population density in cities, leading to increased vehicle numbers and,

consequently

Linking Words

traffic

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congestion

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This

Linking Words

issue is particularly acute during rush hours

Remove the comma

apply

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when residents commute to and from work. Relocating

businesses

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to rural

areas

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could encourage employees to move closer to their workplaces, thereby easing urban

congestion

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Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

shift could boost the rural economy by increasing average salaries and stimulating local economic activity.

For instance

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, Indonesia's decision to move its capital to a less populated island aimed to reduce

congestion

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and improve living conditions in the former capital.

Traffic

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congestion

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not only causes delays but

also

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contributes significantly to

air

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pollution, resulting in poor

air

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quality.

This

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pollution is primarily

due to

Linking Words

emissions from the increased number of vehicles on city streets. Reducing urban

traffic

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by relocating

businesses

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could lead to a decrease in vehicle emissions, thereby improving

air

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quality.

Additionally

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, enhancing green spaces by planting more trees can

further

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help purify the

air

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, as trees absorb carbon dioxide and produce oxygen.

For example

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, the Indonesian government has initiated programs requiring households to plant trees to combat

air

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pollution. In conclusion, relocating

businesses

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to rural

areas

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can lead to a significant reduction in urban

traffic

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and housing

problems

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, improve

air

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quality, and stimulate rural economic growth. By addressing these critical issues, the benefits of

this

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strategy clearly outweigh any potential drawbacks, making it a viable solution for improving living conditions both in cities and rural

areas

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Submitted by ivannizar on Mon Sep 02 2024

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coherence

Your essay is very well-structured, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next. However, to enhance coherence further, consider using more sophisticated linking words and phrases to connect your ideas within paragraphs.

task response

You’ve done an excellent job addressing the task prompt comprehensively. Nonetheless, make sure to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition and improve the overall readability of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points and reinforce the argument. This is a strong feature that helps achieve a high score in terms of coherence and cohesion.

relevant specific examples

Your use of specific examples, such as the situation in Indonesia, adds relevance and credibility to your arguments. This is an excellent practice for responding to the task prompt completely and convincingly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

Some people believe that children at secondary school should be streamed, i.e. taught in classes according to ability, rather than being taught in mixed-ability classes. Do you think the advantages of streaming children at secondary school outweigh the disadvantages?

There are growing demands for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions?