Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern world, the way to reduce the crime rate is a topic of debate.
While
some people believe that serving a longer prison sentence is the solution, others oppose that there are substitute options to control this
rate. This
essay will discuss both aforementioned views before outlining my personal opinion.
On the one hand, many individuals hold the view that offenders should be punished by serving longer punishment. This
is the way to protect the community from bad-behaving individuals, especially hardened criminals with serious crimes. To be specific, there are a small number of testifiers over the age of 60 who have committed serious crimes. They are harmful to society; hence
they should be kept behind bars for a longer period, and by the day they get released from prison, they will be too old to do bad things again. Without keeping these organized crimescrime
in jail for a long period, the community would be in constant fear.
Correct your spelling
crimes
On the other hand
, although
I acknowledge that keeping criminals in jail for an extended time is one of the solutions, I am of the opinion that there are alternative ways to lower the crime rate. Firstly
, educating and providing training to prisoners will equip them with the skills that are required for them to be able to make a living again once they are out of jail. Some jailbirds committed petty crimes like stealing, and burglary because they were not educated. With proper education, their mindset will be diverted to a much more positive way, hence
, it is a chance for them to come back and contribute to society again. Secondly
, some countries allow inmates to reduce their charges by truthfully providing information for further
investigation. By this
, certain high-skilled syndicates later contribute massively to the community once they are out of the cell.
In conclusion, I believe multiple actions need to be taken to reduce crime levels and give longer lockup sentences alongside various other alternative ways.Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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task response
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents two differing views before giving a personal stance, which meets the requirements of the task. However, there are areas where clarity could be improved. For instance, the paragraph about using education and training as alternatives to long sentences could benefit from more specific details and clearer connections between ideas.
task response
Make sure every main point is fully supported by relevant examples and explanations. This provides depth to your argument and helps persuade the reader of your point of view. Specifically, your second body paragraph could use more concrete examples to illustrate how education and skill training effectively lower the crime rate.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transition words and phrases are generally used effectively to maintain coherence. There are, however, some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be clarified for smoother reading. For instance, "keeping these organized crimes in jail" should be corrected for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. While the essay is cohesive, the introduction of some points feels somewhat abrupt. Work on creating smoother transitions between different parts of your argument to further enhance coherence.
task response
You've done a great job in presenting a balanced view, addressing both sides of the argument. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.