Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
There are a number of
museums
charging their visitors to enter while
others are free to enter. Some individuals think that there will be more advantages than disadvantages in collecting fees, while
others have the opposite opinion .
To maintain the operations, the government has been spending an amount of money on the museum
's facilities such
as the power supply for the lighting system, as well as
staff salaries. In addition
, to enrich antiques for displaying at local museums
, the expenses for archaeology paid by the local councils are very large. Therefore
, charging visitors to enter the museum
is completely reasonable, it contributes to supporting the state budget to maintain and preserve the artefacts that were passed down from generation to generation. Each individual only needs to pay a small fee when visiting, however
, it can help them comprehend more knowledge about the value of history
as well as
encourage their children to approach the local history
of art.
On the other hand
, some believe that it is unnecessary to charge a fee to enter the museum
for many reasons. First,
in poorer or developing countries, people work very hard to make ends meet to cover their family's demands instead
of having to pay for museum
visits. Second,
in some countries like Vietnam, most young citizens tend to attend a live concert or go to the cinemas rather than going to art or history
exhibitions. They think that the place is uninteresting and boring. Most museums
in Vietnam have very few visitors who are foreigners or the elderly . As a result
, if museums
are forced to pay admission fees, they risk a dramatic reduction in the number of guests. This
causes a large number of valuable historical artefacts to gradually be forgotten and inaccessible to today's teenager
In conclusion, charging an entry fee will have more advantages than disadvantages. It is important for each individual to respect and have knowledge of the antiques and history
that have been passed down by previous generations through the local museum
.Submitted by tdkhadhsg on
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task response
Your introduction is fairly clear but could be improved by providing a more concise thesis statement that directly addresses the question. Try to state your position more clearly and concisely in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
You have a good attempt at paragraphing, but the transitions between the paragraphs could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases to show connections between your ideas more clearly.
task response
While your points are mostly relevant, some of your examples and explanations could be more detailed and specific. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear structure with separate paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, which helps in understanding your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position and reinforces your argument about the advantages of charging admission fees. This helps in leaving a lasting impression on the reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?