Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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There are a number of

museums

Use synonyms

charging their visitors to enter

while

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others are free to enter. Some individuals think that there will be more advantages than disadvantages in collecting fees,

while

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others have the opposite opinion . To maintain the operations, the government has been spending an amount of money on the

museum

Use synonyms

's facilities

such

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as the power supply for the lighting system,

as well as

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staff salaries.

In addition

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, to enrich antiques for displaying at local

museums

Use synonyms

, the expenses for archaeology paid by the local councils are very large.

Therefore

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, charging visitors to enter the

museum

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is completely reasonable, it contributes to supporting the state budget to maintain and preserve the artefacts that were passed down from generation to generation. Each individual only needs to pay a small fee when visiting,

however

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, it can help them comprehend more knowledge about the value of

history

Use synonyms

as well as

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encourage their children to approach the local

history

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of art.

On the other hand

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, some believe that it is unnecessary to charge a fee to enter the

museum

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for many reasons.

First,

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in poorer or developing countries, people work very hard to make ends meet to cover their family's demands

instead

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of having to pay for

museum

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visits.

Second,

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in some countries like Vietnam, most young citizens tend to attend a live concert or go to the cinemas rather than going to art or

history

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exhibitions. They think that the place is uninteresting and boring. Most

museums

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in Vietnam have very few visitors who are foreigners or the elderly .

As a result

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, if

museums

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are forced to pay admission fees, they risk a dramatic reduction in the number of guests.

This

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causes a large number of valuable historical artefacts to gradually be forgotten and inaccessible to today's teenager In conclusion, charging an entry fee will have more advantages than disadvantages. It is important for each individual to respect and have knowledge of the antiques and

history

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that have been passed down by previous generations through the local

museum

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tdkhadhsgFri May 24 2024

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task response

Your introduction is fairly clear but could be improved by providing a more concise thesis statement that directly addresses the question. Try to state your position more clearly and concisely in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

You have a good attempt at paragraphing, but the transitions between the paragraphs could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases to show connections between your ideas more clearly.

task response

While your points are mostly relevant, some of your examples and explanations could be more detailed and specific. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear structure with separate paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, which helps in understanding your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position and reinforces your argument about the advantages of charging admission fees. This helps in leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Some people believe older employees are more useful to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more useful in modern world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.