IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, teenagers have many ways to evolve their perceptual skills and cognitive society which is not only science fields but
also
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 movements.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some people are of the opinion that some
art
Use synonyms
 classes play a vital role in the growth of children and
also
Linking Words
 have equivalent to other fields thereby forcing in high schools is significant. From my perspective, I totally concede that notion and the following paragraph will argue about it firmly. Attending some
art
Use synonyms
 classes paves the
way
Use synonyms
 for claiming more creation. It is apparent that
students
Use synonyms
 fall into place with some
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
show examples
 of
art
Use synonyms
 that intertwine with advanced perception and inspiration.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have an open mind to consider some phenomena more accurately. A pertinent example of
this
Linking Words
 is that
students
Use synonyms
 who experience some
art
Use synonyms
 lessons have aesthetic qualities of fashion and style.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will be
connoisseur
Add an article
a connoisseur
show examples
 of the values of life and easy to gain. There are
also
Linking Words
 more factors in which juvenile age acknowledges that reducing pressure has the most direct effect on
students
Use synonyms
. Because the
way
Use synonyms
 of transmission of knowledge is flexible,
students
Use synonyms
 can have a good grasp of the foundation completely. Some youngsters prove that by attending
art
Use synonyms
 lessons, they cannot be confronted with algebra and statistical skills.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is allowed the privilege of inventive development and
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 can find their
way
Use synonyms
 into hobbies. In conclusion, joining an
art
Use synonyms
 class is a pragmatic
way
Use synonyms
 to evolve the ability of cognitive skills. It has a positive impact on the development of brain functions and aesthetic ability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop your ideas more deeply and provide robust examples. For instance, you could mention specific studies or research that support the value of art in developing cognitive and perceptual skills.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and the argument builds cohesively throughout your text.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present the main idea effectively.
task achievement
You have touched on good points about the benefits of art education, such as creativity, open-mindedness, and stress reduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
What to do next:
Look at other essays: