Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child’s development as other subjects so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There are arguments that
art
classes
including painting and drawing are as vital to children’s
development as other core subjects so it
should be necessary Correct pronoun usage
they
in
high schools. Change the preposition
for
This
writer agrees with this
statement because of the improvement in children’s
mind
and will show the point of view in Fix the agreement mistake
minds
this
writing essay.
It is evident that art
lessons
also
help children improving
their thinking ways. Learning about painting and drawing encourages Change the form of the verb
improve
students
to think creatively or portray their pictures according to
their opinions. Moreover
, children also
can react flexibly when they face with
real problems. To compare Change preposition
apply
are
learners and the others who Correct your spelling
our
are not enroll
in these Change the verb form
are not enrolled
classes
, it can be seen that art
students
can make decisions faster and more creative
than Change the word
creatively
students
who do not learn about art
. Additionally
, the ways that are
Unnecessary verb
apply
students
look at things are stranger than the others, it
leads to the uniqueness of each person.
Not only that studying Correct pronoun usage
which
art
also
helps students
to refresh their mind
. It can be observed that the stress Fix the agreement mistake
minds
comes
from learning core subjects like math or chemistry Correct pronoun usage
that comes
are
a lot so Change the verb form
is
students
need to have some lessons
that help them to feel more comfortable. Due to
this
, choosing the
subjects like drawing and painting is the best way to release Correct article usage
apply
children’s
stress. Besides
that, individuals who participate in art
classes
after school can work much more effectively so they can perform better at school.
To conclude
, joining art
classes
are
crucial for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
children’s
development according to
it
benefits and schools have to allocate these Correct pronoun usage
its
lessons
to their curriculum. Unfortunately, not having opportunities to learn about art
but in the future
Add a comma
future,
this
writer may enrolls
in these Wrong verb form
enrol
lessons
.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This sets a clear expectation for the reader.
task achievement
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to convey ideas more clearly and professionally.
task achievement
Add more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could include studies or expert opinions on the benefits of art education.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to improve coherence. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences that link the ideas logically.
task achievement
The essay topic is clearly addressed, showing that you understand the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have made a commendable effort to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides several reasons why art classes are beneficial, demonstrating a good level of engagement with the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example