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Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, many
food
 and drink industries hold high levels of
sugar
 that cause permanent
diseases
.
Therefore
, some people recommended that the prices of sugary products increase to discourage excessive consumption and promote healthier dietary choices.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement, as
this
 leads to a reduced incidence of
sugar
-related
diseases
 and encourages consumers to move their choices to healthier alternatives.
Sugar
 was designed to become easily addicted to it, and now it's available in abundance in many
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
 and types at cheap prices, which is why we don't hesitate to buy quantity even though we are aware of the drawbacks of glucose.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 increasing the price leads to consuming less
sugar
 in our diet, which will reduce the chance of suffering from obesity and permanent
diseases
 like diabetes.
For instance
, the people who live in the village and spend their lives eating from natural resources and used to eat homemade
food
 have proven that their rate of obesity and other
sugar
-related
diseases
 is very low.
Moreover
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary products become more expensive, consumers will shift their diet to healthier alternatives.
Instead
 of buying a bar of chocolate, they replace it with two boxes of strawberries for the same price.
This
also
 could encourage
food
 manufacturers to innovate and produce options, leading to a broader cultural change towards healthier eating habits. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the decision to increase
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
food
 and drinks that contain a high amount of
sugar
, as it results in reducing health problems problem related to glucose. And encourage healthier choices, which
also
 foster
food
 manufacturers to innovate and produce varied nutrition and healthier snacks.
Submitted by abdullahmalak.angel on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences are linked logically.
task achievement
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task achievement
Avoid general statements and provide more specific and varied examples to support the arguments.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the main argument.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the stance.
supported main points
The essay provides a logical argument and relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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